Friday, August 26, 2011

A TIMELY MESSAGE

******I am going to leave Mike's post up in honor of 9-11 for a few more days.


I don't want anyone to miss this post.  This is from my great friend that is a Marine.
 
I have had it on A Baby Changes Everything blog, but wanted to repost it here, as I have had so many emails regarding it.

Feel free to share it with anyone…

Now a word from a wise man in a time when our country has some major problems..
 
Thoughts for the day

Last week my dad and I played golf on the course here on base. The great thing about this game is you never know who you'll be paired with.
We drew a single player that morning. I introduced myself to him as he pulled up in his cart. He likewise introduced himself as Aaron.
His voice was, well, Elmer Fudd-ish. "BwootifuI day to pway gwawf." I knew he was a fellow Marine without having to ask.
The hair cut said that. As men often do to each other, we usually--and immediately--ask each other what the other does, fairly--or unfairly--sizing up and evaluating each other based on our chosen professions.

As if our profession in any way defines who we really are. So I avoided the familiar question, "What do you do?"

Having previously worked in surgery for almost ten years, I'd seen enough tracheotomies to know the scar at the bottom of his neck had been one done in a hurry and not with an instrument really sharp enough to do the job.
Amateurish even.
After playing the first hole it was obvious the speech impediment was physical tongue-tying, vice the type often seen with partially deaf individuals or those born with one. Clearly he had no hand-eye coordination issues besides not being able to putt better than I could, thankfully.


Sober golf players tend to not visit a whole lot except on the tee box. We were all focused on the task at hand.

Marines typically size each other up by asking what units they are in, where they've deployed to, battles fought in, etc.

It took us until at least the back nine to get to all that. We had been in some of the same places at the same time. He pulled up his shirt to show me his entry wound just below the left rib cage, and the typical midline incision scar that accompanies such gunshot wounds. That one was courtesy of the invasion of Iraq. A few years later he'd join the Marine Corps’ first Special Operations Battalion and deploy to Afghanistan twice.

That trip to Afghanistan in 2009 would account for the tracheotomy scar. He was crossing open terrain when he got shot in the face by a sniper.
Fortunately, it impacted him in the left jaw bone.

Unfortunately, the fragmentation of the bullet pulverized his tongue and internal carotid artery. After being shot, Aaron sprinted 400 yards to the corpsman’s location so he could render first aid to him.
The corpsman performed a hasty tracheotomy on him so he could adequately breathe until he got medevac’d.
Aaron will medically retire sometime in the next year with a 100% disability. He’s married but no kids yet. He married before his first trip to Afghanistan. “She stuck around after I got shot. Guess I married the right one.” Indeed.



He works private security details from time to time, gouging them for hundreds of dollars a day for VIPs because he’s got a special ops background and is no stranger to a gun fight.

In his time off he’s taken up golf. Aaron’s not sure what the future holds. But right now he’s just trying his best to enjoy life. “Twice was enough.” Getting shot and nearly dying that is.

 
Another wounded warrior story which, outside of family and a few close friends (and occasional golf partner), no one will ever know.
 
I thought the same thing a few weeks ago when I was awakened in the dark hours of a Saturday with a text notification from CNN that 22 SEALs had been killed in a helicopter crash. I looked at my watch and started doing the mental math: That got reported at least six hours after the fact.24 hours to gather remains. 48-72 hours to get them out of country and to Dover AFB.

Next of kin will be notified by the end of the day, if not first thing Sunday morning. They try to do death notifications all at once. The logistics of that would be a nightmare. 3-5 days for remains identification and funerals the week following. I know this process all too well.
22 SEALs dead. One or two is acceptable—militarily speaking of course.
It’s the risk we accept. But not 20 at a time. These guys don’t grow on trees.

Who were they?
Where were they from?
What were their stories?
They’re certainly not the sum of their medals. Only through the tears of those who knew them can even we get a glimpse.
And it’s hard not to stereotype about what type of people they were. After all, probably 20% of active forces could be special ops. Less than 10% will apply. 5% will make the screening cut and they’ll cull that down to less than 1% by the end of training. Why?
Because of all the missions that can fail, theirs can’t. Athletes they may have been, but that’s not what makes them great or heroic.

If it was, every star athlete out of college would be recruited for special ops. It’s their heart and mind that make them great.

They were everyday people from anywhere towns asked to do astonishing missions under extraordinary circumstances so everyday people from anywhere towns can live their ordinary lives.

I doubt many standing in football stadiums the past two weeks(or the coming months), watching the NFL circus unfold into the regular season, gave any thought to the security of this nation; that a couple ordinary guys from Shreveport, LA put a bullet hole through a terrorist’s head half-way around the world so Americans wouldn’t have to worry about a bomb disrupting the regular season. We Americans are fickle.

The economy goes to hell and we’re worried about standard of living in our retirement years. Meanwhile the Constitution gets shredded, weakened or re-legislated with no one reading the contents of a bill. The normalcy bias is killing Americans—“Things can’t really be this bad. It’ll get better.”
But it doesn’t. So nothing gets done. It’s a state of unbelief. And it’s paralyzing.
We need a battlefield lesson. When trapped in a cross-fire you move or get killed. Stay put and you die. SEALs know this lesson.
They’re dying so we can enjoy the ideals of freedom printed on a piece of parchment signed in the year of our Lord, 1787—the Constitution.

I’d challenge you to do a couple of things. 1) Get to know your warriors and their families.
Not all military life is glorious or affordable. They’ve been given a tough assignment, by us. They aren’t nameless, faceless anybodies without families.
They bleed and sometimes die. Not always of their own decision.
Read a book about a battle, recent or back to our nation’s birth.
Understand what they go through and what we’ve asked them and their families to sacrifice. If you live in an area where there is a military base, seek their friendship. If not, stop by the local recruiting station—the most thankless job in the military—and thank them. 2) Get involved.
Don’t let your freedoms be destroyed by incompetence or pride. Both get you killed on the battlefield. Both will get your freedoms taken.
There’s no interest like self-interest.
If you care about something, engage your Congressman.
If you don’t, no one else will and they’ll make dangerous assumptions about your lack of assertion. 3)
Live like today actually counts for eternity. Be quick to apologize when you are wrong and take less than your share of the credit when it comes to glory.

There’s a Marine helicopter squadron whose motto is, “Give a @hit.” Great motto. Act like you care. Think. Decide. Act… Love. Eat. Pray…and thank God you weren’t born in Libya.

Our country has been blessed with much. So much is required of us to maintain what was handed to us.

Statistics show that those who inherit large sums of money are prone to squander it quickly because they have no idea the sacrifice with which it was obtained.
Please don’t do that to your freedoms handed to you by the lives of so many. We threw tea in a harbor once because of tyranny. What will you do to keep tyranny, disguised as law, at bay?
Just remember, a couple of boys from Shreveport, and other places, continue to hook and jab with an enemy to keep you sleeping peacefully in your tempurpedic at night. So that when you awaken, you have the moral strength and intestinal fortitude to fight peacefully to keep your rights, and the peace of mind to enjoy them.



mike and fam2



I love you Mike McClendon and thank god that 20 years ago God allowed our paths to cross and then connect…You are one of my heroes.

Monday, August 22, 2011

“YOU IS KIND, YOU IS SMART, YOU IS IMPORTANT”

Be sure you read to the end…a giveaway and a surprise post you.do.not.want.to.miss !

the Help



How different our world would be if every child was told that over and over. 
If every adult believed those words,  it would change history.  It is the  new mantra in our house with the “little’s”, not that they did not know it, but we are going to verbalize it daily. 
I find myself saying it to myself.  I know in my life that was not something affirmed to me and that in part controls my thinking even today. 
Maybe because I was affected by the lack of affirmation, I feel stronger about the words than they really are. To me they are life changing.

the Help 6

I loved the movie and I see a lot of movies…The message moves me and that’s not something I can say about many movies today.  Enough about that…Go see it. 
Monday Happys!!!!!
(Monday is my least favorite day of the week)
1) Football season is underway…that makes me a happy camper..though no Brett may push me over the edge

2) We had a great family dinner Saturday night at a wonderful new restaurant…compliments of Micah and Amanda…all four little's.
I did not take one picture…(for which the older boys were so thankful for)



3) Micah (my son-in-law) called me Saturday and these were his words…" Grammy, make a list of any things you need done around the house and list them in priority.
Next Saturday I am bringing my nephew over and we are going to trim your big tree and anything else you need done”!  Smile…"Micah is kind, he is smart and he is important”


4)Greg won a fabulous trip for he and Dana….Atlantis….November..



5) Some dear friends that have been out of work for way too long…had to move in with teenage daughters to their parents.
They have had one let down after another over the last 18 months…THEY GOT A NEW JOB…from Texas to Utah…but a new start…Thank you God.
6) We are taking a 3 day, ALL of the Family, trip to Dallas for the LSU game, Labor Day weekend.
 
7) Parker is SO HAPPY in Middle School.  Small brag…forgive me..There are 600 in his grade and he was chosen one of 32 to skip 6th grade Math and go to the advanced class…"He is kind, he is smart and he is important”  and he is my heart.

Parkers First Day


Now for your laugh of the day…This is Mad Jack…after I told him he could not do something…Can’t you just read his mind…

mad jack

Remember to check out MilandDil Designs….she has lots of new things…
Also I passed several number markers on my blog in post and followers…so I want to celebrate you..

Leave a comment on this post and you will go in a drawing for one of the famous card boxes….
I will draw on  Sunday..
Now for the BEST PART of this POST…

Go to the holiday blog and Mike (my wonderful Marine friend)  
is guest posting…All comments on that post will go in the drawing too..

When he writes, I listen.
He is kind, he is smart and he is important.

Have a great week!

Sunday, August 14, 2011

JUST DO IT

You might want to get a cup of coffee, a glass of wine or in my case I am craving a diet coke.  
You will need something to take this journey with me.  I thought about not writing about it, but maybe there is something in it for you.  Maybe I just need to clear the cobwebs out of my brain because I have to start working on Christmas tomorrow…

I can’t remember where I left off on this journey, but I think it was with the first week I was in Dallas at Baylor with my dear high school and life long friend and her husband as he waited on a liver transplant.

When Jack and I left two weeks ago on a Saturday headed to Dallas to see them, I just knew we were suppose to go…as in pay it forward
I had no idea that almost two weeks later we would still be there.  We came home for just a couple of days to pay bills. 

All I knew was my gut was saying “go back and just be there”! 

I did not want to bother them or be in the way, I just wanted to be 10 minutes away and available.

I wanted to be a shoulder for Dianne to fall apart on, I wanted to be a smile to Keith when the world was really dark. 
I just wanted to live out “we care” as so many people had done for us 10 months ago.

I may never know why God picked Dianne and Keith to be on the other end of this journey. 

Oh wow did I learn a lot about the transplant world. That’s another post, but if you are not a donor…think about it..read about it and just do it.
 
My regular readers know I don’t go many places without a “little” in tow. Ever. So living in a hotel for two weeks in 110 degree weather without the little's was not my idea of a vacation.
But the entire time I was there I knew I was right where I was suppose to be.
 
I was able to set up a Caringbridge site for Keith and do the posting for Dianne. We were able to be there for the highs and for the very low times.

Talk about a roller coaster.

Remember from Jack’s stroke, I am NOT a nurse.  So every minute I am in the hospital is totally out of my comfort zone. 
Dianne is just the opposite…She was the kindest caregiver and could do anything.
Exactly a week ago today we were settled in the hotel for what we thought was another week.

Things changed drastically on Wednesday and we knew there would be no liver…infection was rampant in Keith's body, he had multiple organ failures…on Thursday afternoon around 4 surrounded by his family with old hymns playing in the background, he took his last breath.
His body just had no fight left. 

Today, in a standing room only, filled to the brim church, we all said goodbye.
 
This is the part I was not sure I was going to share.  But maybe there is some lady out there that can insert her name and find comfort. 
Yesterday was Dianne and Keiths 34th anniversary.  All week we had talked about it and I would ask Keith if he wanted me to get her something..and every time he would say as only he could, “Naw” (that’s Texan)..

About 11:45 Friday night I sat down to the computer and decided I would write Dianne a letter in Keith's voice for her to have in her email when she woke up Saturday morning.

A Happy Anniversary wish from her man.   It took me exactly 10 minutes, no rewrites, no thinking, meaning it HAD to be God.  I hit send and went to bed.

When I woke up I realized I had five missed calls from her.  When we finally connected all I could understand was “That was the best gift EVER"!
Understand, I thought only Dianne and I would ever know about it or read it..
Her next words were “Can I have it read at the funeral”?
Of course, but not by me…I can’t..and don’t say who wrote it.  So Keith's cousin  beautifully delivered the letter.
 
I am going to share it with you and if you lost a mate and some things were left unsaid ..take it as your own letter.

This one was to my dear friend Dianne.
    

Dianne,


I am so sorry I am not here to celebrate our anniversary. I wish we could have spent it in Colorado or Gatlinburg.   If there was ever a year in our marriage that I need to celebrate you, it is this year.
You have been everything to me. At times it probably did not seem that way. I am so thankful that you hung in there thru the bad years and took those vows of "for better or worse and in sickness and health" as a vow to God and not me.
I was a handful and more....a wild man many times, but I loved you with all my heart.
Dianne, you know better than anyone how the devil worked on me as he does everyone. We know the areas that were a challenge to me. Please remind my friends that life can change in a moment. But with YOU and God I WON those battles. Thanks is not a big enough word to you for fighting them with me.

You have been the greatest Mom and Wife any man could ask for.
These past months you have had to be nurse and no one could have asked for a better one. I KNOW I was NOT an easy patient.
You took care of my every need without thinking twice.
Some of those needs you probably could have lived without ever doing.
The hospital was horrible and humiliating, but I know you know that. Thank you for giving me my dignity.
Thank you for every drink of water, every ice chip, every back rub and bath, every night that you slept on that tiny little bed. Thank you for NEVER leaving me alone.
Thank you for encouraging me and trying to get me the best medical care available, even when it meant being away from home for months. YOU ARE MY HERO!!!
I have been stingy with compliments most of our marriage. Please let me make it up to you now. YOU are the rock that held our family together. You are the love of my life. You stayed when most would have left.
I am well now...reunited with so many people, so much family and totally whole. There really are streets of gold. I have no more pain and everyone I have met loves my stories.
I know you are hurting and today will be extra hard. I did NOT want to leave you but my physical body just gave out.
Live life to the fullest, remind the boys how much I love them and how proud I am of them, kiss the grandkids regularly for me. Tell them stories about me. Keep in touch with my friends and if you don't mine, every once in awhile remind them that I was a pretty good (No Great) football player.
Most of all never forget how much I love you!
Happy Anniversary with all my love,
Keith

Keith 1
         Keith Whatley….I wish I could hear one more story. 
     Dianne and Keith
     
So tonight my word to you is if your gut tells you to do something, JUST DO IT.