Tuesday, October 5, 2010

WARNING....YOU MAY NOT LIKE ME AS MUCH AFTER THIS POST

For the next few weeks and months you may want to skip my blog.  I will post an update on Jack at the beginning and then you may want to just quit.   It will  not be all cute pictures and stories of the little's, it will be hard and raw gut feelings because right now that's all I can write. I will certainly understand if you don't want to read them.  The good news is after the test today the bleed has stopped or at least was the same as yesterday.  Jack was moved back to the stroke floor and everything, at least for now seems to be as good as you can be three days after suffering  a major stroke and according to Roger probably being only a few hours from death had someone not found him. Roger knows much more about the first hours as he got to the hospital much quicker than we did.  But I need to find some fight and get on board and stop crying....(I know that because I have spent the last 2 hours on the phone with Roger getting some counsel on why I have fallen apart.  He is the doctor friend I told you about yesterday that has  walked with us this week, treated us for any ailment we had for 25 years but also a friend that I can say anything to. BUT, he would and does say anything to me.  It’s REAL with us and the difference is he is not only medical brilliant, but he knows me.  And I am sure before the week ends he will have to say some hard things to me. 
It has not been a good day for me or Amanda.  Actually it has been the hardest day for me, even though we had more wonderful friends drive in to see us…Laura Wade…you blew our mind with the gift bag…I have owned a gift basket business for 20 years and have never put together anything like what you brought us.  Seeing you and Bill today was the high point of our day…You are as beautiful as ever and Bill you have not aged a day….kind of made me sick…Danny and Debbie…taking time out of your day was a gift to us. Thank you.   If any of you called today, I am so sorry I did not answer.  We were bombarded with some facts that I just could not deal with and it was like someone opened a faucet and I could not stop crying…..Greg and Micah went home late today.  They needed to and Jack was stable enough for them to go work a couple of days, check on the little's, but their goodbyes were gut wrenching .  These two men love Jack so much and are not shy about telling him and showing him.  So tonight it is just me and Amanda and we have different rooms.  We needed to grieve alone. All we had to do today was look at each other and the water works started again.  So I am assuming she has been asleep for hours and I am on my normal schedule blogging.  Remember I said this is going to be  RAW WRITING.  I am scared to death of a thousand things.  The “What if’s” and “How will we?” are my constant companions and at one point today I wanted to run out of the room and just keep running.  For a control person to have absolutely NO CONTROL, may require professional help.  They gave me a stack of literature on dealing with a stroke and I came to the hotel, took it out of my purse and threw it in the trash.  They needed to talk to me about an  inpatient acute REHAB CENTER in SHREVEPORT and I told them we do not do REHAB, we do DISNEY.  (Just need to throw this in because some of my tree people are my FB friends…Do not worry about your tree…I will be there just like normal and make your home magical.) At this point I don’t have every detail worked out, but I will. 
Tonight there were 342 emails…Talk about feeling loved. Knowing how much your MAN is loved and being prayed for is more than I can ask for.  Eventually I will answer those emails, phone messages and texts, but for right now, the blog and FB is all I have the energy to do.  Please know that I appreciate them…Two of JACK’S old football players called today and again it reminded me what an impact he had on kids he coached. Mike McClendon, your text today made us laugh and then I cried again.  Amanda read it to Jack and he even had a slight smile.  I wish I could hug you and we could solve the worlds problems. 
The fact is our lives are changed forever.  That means a lot of different things and only time will tell exactly how.  So I will be honest and tell you I did not do good today…have never felt weaker, and am so disappointed in ME for not being better at this. 
I would love to say its because its almost tree season and there are just lots of things to get done.  BUT the real reason is that Jack has treated me like a Queen for all our married years.  My close friends are all reading this and shaking their heads YES, and some will even be saying I never appreciated it enough.   My feelings (which really should be on the back burner now) are that I am so scared that I will not be able to serve him the same way.  And that’s just the UGLY facts.  I know that because Roger just told me that and as bad as that stings, he is (as always) RIGHT.  SO if you want to UNFOLLOW me now,(that’s blog language)  just remember I always told you that I had no idea where we were going and now that I do, I am pretty sure you do NOT want to FOLLOW.  You still will not be wasting prayers on Jack as he is not out of the woods, but you can also pray that I can get my stuff together.  Micah and Greg leaving left me even more scared.  One of them had been next to me and Amanda for 3 days.  So you have seen the UGLY me, but I need to keep it real.  One of the sweetest things all day….Amanda knew I was crying when she left to go to her room…she left and a minute later walked back in and hugged me and said “Mom, we will not let you and Dad take one step without us. This is not Dad’s battle, this is our families battle and we will all do life together.”!  If you are not so depressed after this post, that you will never come back, tomorrow night I promise some of the sweetest pictures Micah and Dana emailed me of the little's. 
Its almost 3 now so I know I am in trouble….Amanda told me to go to bed at 10
I love everyone of you that have contacted me and at some point I will call or text.   Sheila, if you are reading this I need to talk to you tomorrow…I know I will not make it home for Friday, so relook at your schedule.  I have never needed you more. And Roger I know you are still up as you just text me...if you make it to the end of this, thank you for being BRUTALLY honest with me tonight. Ambien is calling my name.
With love,
Teresa
(Linda, if you are reading this, please do not check it for proper grammar or punctuation.)

58 comments:

Love Being a Nonny said...

Teresa, I am not concerned with your grammar...I am concerned with YOU and your Jack. It's 5:00 am again, and I am spending my time praying for your family as you are learning to live life in a different way. Much Much love friend.

Bacardi Mama said...

I would never think that I was wasting my prayers on you, Jack and your family. I can't imagine the thoughts and fears going through your head now. How your life has changed in the blink of an eye is unfathomable to me. I'm not going anywhere. You can come too your blog to unload, laugh and cry anytime you want. That is what this wonderful blog world is all about. You'll find find love and support here, I promise. My prayers for you all continue.

Mande said...

Thinking of you....praying....and I will not stop following. Love to you and may God give you strength. xoxo

Cindy Lou said...

Teresa, The cold hard truth is the best way to be right now!! I can't imagine what you are going through becasue it is your husband, but I did deal with a stroke with my mom and yes it is hard and yes it is a lot of work but God will give you the strength that you need to get through this!! You are an inspriation to me and thank you for "KEEPING IT REAL!"" That is just the way life is "REAL"!!!


Get all the rest you cn while Jack is in the hospital so that when you get your prince home you will be able to serve him the way you want to!! May God ever give you the strength that you stand in need of and Please God reach down right now and touch and heal Jack back to most wanted health!! AMEN!!!

Love and hugs to you from Georgia!!

Cindy Lou

billypandnikkysmom said...

You couldn't stop me from reading your posts if you tried! I may have never met you but your heartfelt posts have always touched my heart and have helped so many in ways you may never know!

Please know that I am keeping your husband in my prayers as well as you and your precious family...sending prayers & love your way...today I pray that you find the strength that you will need & that your husband continues to make progress. God Bless & LOVE!!!

flip flops and pearls said...

(((HUGS))) my sweet friend. I am weeping with you. I am so sorry and you will always have me here, by your side, praying and reading!! Your sweet Jack sounds so much like my husband. We are blessed ladies and he is blessed to have you by his side!!

This is something we are never prepared for so therefor we will all act in ways that were not sure of. (i would assume) So, let your feelings flow. Just keep looking UP. I know where your faith is!

His Love & Mine,
Daphne
xoxo

FlowerLady said...

Thank you for your heartfelt, gut wrenching post. What you are going through is rough to say the least.

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Love and hugs ~ FlowerLady

Lucy and Ethel said...

Sending big hugs and beefing up the prayers for Jack and your entire family... especially you.

I can visualize myself in similar shoes way too easily. My husband is a high school football coach trying to turn a program around (S-T-R-E-S-S) and drives 120 miles/day to do it (fatigue, crazy drivers, and deer). He came perilously close to becoming a fatality at the hands of a drunk driver over the weekend, so my imagination went into overdrive when his meeting last night ran late.

He's on Coumadin for life after a diagnosis of bilateral pulmonary embolism and a DVT in June.

Etc., etc., etc.

We have been married about the same length of time as you and Jack, and I honestly cannot stand the thought that something might happen to stir things up.

When you finish grieving (or what MIGHT have been or what it LOOKS like now), you'll be able to focus your energy on helping get Jack better and reach his potential... or more. I always love to prove the doctors wrong!!!

Big hugs from the mountains of NC -

'Lucy'

Theresa said...

Well, let me say that it is OK to be mad and scared! It is OK to lean on everyone around you and it is OK to cry! But, the only thing that gets me thru bad times is praying... it seems to help me be strong! I will not unfollow you, what kind of friend would do that!!! Life isn't always a bouquet of roses and friends love friends in good times and bad! I am praying for you and Jack and I feel that God is hearing our prayers! Hugs and prayers with tears! Theresa

Sheryl said...

i am going to keep this short...

I LOVE YOU! i have so much that i want to say but i know that it's impossible for you to even be reading this.

if you feel comfortable i would love to have your cell so that i can text you...completely understand if you're not able to give it out.

in case i didn't make it clear..I LOVE YOU

Summer said...

Oh Teresa,
I am so sorry to hear all of this and I will be praying extra hard for Jack, you and your family! I know it is hard but as soon as the What If's enter your mind shake them out quick or they will over consume you, believe me I know! It is totally ok to be real, honest and post your emotions on your blog! We are here to support you and you have every right to be worried and upset! Life isn't all gumdrops and rainbows even though I wish it was....

xoxo
Summer

Kelly Howard said...

TERESA, I AM NOT GOING TO UNFOLLOW YOU! I have been where you are with loved ones and I know the RAW part of your feelings. Life is standing oh so still for you right now, like holding your breath, and it ain't pretty, is it?! I, like SO many others, are praying for each one of you. God will carry you through this, and He will show you that when you are weak, HE IS STRONG!

-stephanie- said...

Friends stay and pray no matter what. We will hold all of you up in prayer.

Robin @ Be Still and Know said...

My prayers are with you!

Having experienced a few unexpected difficult/painful/scary moments in my life all the thoughts and feeling you have expressed are very familiar!

When words fail, God send His Holy Spirit to intercede with groans that words can not express!

Prayers for peace, prayers for endurance, prayers for comfort and prayers for strength are heading your way!

R

Romans 8:26

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.

Vicki said...

Teresa, I'm still gonna read your blog, being real is the best gift we can give our friends, our family, ourselves, and God. I'm praying for Jack's recovery, for the care providers, for the family, friends, and for you. Thank you for taking the time to update us each night.

SusanD said...

Oh Dear Teresa, I have been out of town for the last four days and just read your recent posts about your dear husband. My heart and stomach are knotted up with emotion at all you have been through. Please know that I am lifting you, Jack, and your entire family up in prayer before the throne. Unfollow you? Not a chance. Friends stick together through the good, the bad, and the ugly. That's why God brought us together. You know how to reach me if you need anything. Anything at all. Seriously. Reaching out in love and prayer. Blessings, SusanD

Becky said...

Teresa, just know it is ok to be blunt and express your feelings. You need to get them out, especially now! So glad to hear that as of now, the bleed has stopped. Try and get some rest now and I will continue to lift you and your family up in prayer.

Becky said...

Teresa, just know it is ok to be blunt and express your feelings. You need to get them out, especially now! So glad to hear that as of now, the bleed has stopped. Try and get some rest now and I will continue to lift you and your family up in prayer.

singedwingangel said...

Oh sweetie you can and will do this.. You are grieving for what you have known in the face of a new form of living. He is here and his love is the same as is yours. You are a strong, wonderful woman and with God you can do anything but fail..

Karen said...

Please know that your husband and you and the rest of your family is in my prayers. You do not need to apologize for sharing your feelings. Life is too hard. We are here for each other. First and foremost, remember to cling to Jesus, our loving Savior. He will see you through!

(((Hugs))) and Prayers,
Karen

Kat said...

Sweet friend, listen up (I'm pointing my finger and stomping my foot)...I am here. I am NOT going anywhere. I am not unfollowing you. I am not disappointed in you. Or any other negative thing you might be afraid people will do. I am here. I am your friend.

Go back and re-read that paragraph again. I'll wait.

Now, take care of YOU first. That's a must. You have to take care of you (whatever it takes) in order to be there for Jack and the kids and the littles. How? I don't know. Each person must do what is right FOR THEM. Don't worry about what others will think, do what your heart and your God tells you to do. Seek help if needed. You are a very strong person. Stronger than you think. Strong enough. And those times when you need help, ask.

You are loved!

Hugs,
Kat

Karen said...

Teresa.
I have just returned after being gone for a week and am horrified at what you have been through. I am so sorry!
Please know I am praying for all of you . . . hoping you realize that bloggy buddies don't just quit on their friends when the going gets tough. We'll be here for you no matter what. Just know that.
Chin up - no worries about the blog - you will find the strength somehow - just lean on your Faith in Christ and know he will somehow see you through this.
Many, many hugs!
Karen ~ Some days are diamonds

Teri said...

I want to "follow" you more than ever! We all go through scary periods in our life. As sisters, this is when we need to pull together all the more and offer our love, support and "ears". As a new follower I don't "know" you as well as the other bloggers do. But, it didn't take but one post to see something very special about you. My guess is you will see your list of supporters rise. It's amazing to me how many emails you've received! Teresa, you are a blessing to many! You, Jack and your family will be in my prayers.
May you experience God's love, power, grace and peace like never before!
Love,
Teri

Brenda said...

Praying. Thanks for your honesty and sharing it.

Ann Nichols said...

I just saw the message about your dear husbands stroke on This Day. I haven't "met" you before but I will become a follower of yours right now. I love pretty things and to hear about how great everything is for everyone but the truth is...we all have these hard moments and now is the time that you need "friends" (or followers who care). I will be praying for you and your family. Please please, do not be disappointed in you again though...I'm sure you are doing all that you can. Things will get better, just trust our Dear Dear Lord...and don't be hard on yourself again.You need to put your energy other places right now.
Much love and many prayers,
Ann

Kristens Creations said...

Teresa,Sherry and I are praying for you, Jack and your family. I know this has to be the hardest thing ever. Just know we are thinking about you and praying...Kristen

Grammy Suzzy said...

Prayers are being said for you, your sweet husband and your family. We won't drop you, or give up on you.

Linda Henderson said...

I am a new follower so I realize you don't know me, but I will not quit following you. I know things look really bad right now but all I can say is, the medical people DON'T have the final say. There are miracles and you need to believe they are possible. I have a granddaughter that is 18 months old now and she is living proof of that. When my oldest daughter finally got pregnant after 7 years of trying we were all over the moon. When her water broke at 23 weeks we were all in the depths of despair. The medical people gave us NO HOPE, they don't consider a baby viable at that stage and started discussing funeral arrangements and everything. I took turns sitting with my daughter and going outside to wail and cry and ask God why he let her get pregnant just to have it end this way, I just couldn't understand. Well now I do. That little miracle child was born at exactly 23 weeks weighing 1 pound 2.7 ounces and was 11 1/2 inches long. She came out fighting and forced them to take her survival seriously. We had her baptised that evening because there were no guarantees being given by the medical staff. We all witnessed a miracle with that little girl. My mother says that God has plans for her. So please know that miracles do happen. I will keep your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Nina Diane said...

oh dear...I have not read blogs in awhile and I did not know what in the world was going on. And honey, please don't worry about people "unfollowing" you...we all love you!! We got your back here my dear...we are "blog family". I am sending so many prayers to you, Jack and your family. I wish I could give you a big ole hug. Hang in there....yes, life is going to change but it will come together. And you have your family....you're lucky there. stay strong...have faith....love, Nina

Our7isheaven said...

It may not be the easiest post to read but it helps to know even better how to pray!

Praying for the family!!!

Mellodee said...

Oh honey, cut yourself some slack!! You are in the midst of what could become a life changing, scary, unknown time. NO ONE expects you to be unaffected by it. Blogging is a forum for sharing our lives and feelings...the good, the bad, and the ugly. Sometimes it's about catharsis and venting and ranting and just managing to keep breathing! You have friends out here that hurt for you!

Actually, if you were a Pollyana throughout this miserable experience, you would be real!

Hugs to you from all of us here in Blogland! Good wishes for Jack coming your way.

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

Teresa, I love you even more for your brutal honesty. Yet, I feel peace that you have your family walking right beside you and Jack, Jack is covered in prayer AND you have Dr. Roger who is a Godsend in your life, among so many others.

Don't spend time with the "what if I can't treat him like the prince that he is?" thoughts. Just live in the now and let your heart guide you. You are afraid and rightly so but it is your smile, your love, your strength that he needs more than anything right now.

Just believe, you will do Disney again! My thoughts and prayers are constantly with you.

Mammy said...

Dear Teresa,

Don't post this to your comments. I just wanted to write and encourage you this morning. I read your latest post the minute I got to work and was relieved to hear that Jack has stabilized. I was slightly offended that you would even suggest that any of your bloggy friends would quit reading if you moved away from sharing Christmas tree news to sharing what's real in your life right now. Of course, we love the bling you bring to the holidays--but we have come to love you even more than any decorating advice you could give. I've come to know you as a caring and giving lady and your blog is one of the first I read each day. So let's just forget about any defectors from your site--and chalk that comment up to lack of sleep on your part! :)

Although I have never experienced a husband having a stroke, my life was changed forever three years ago when my grandson came to live with me. I told you my very real story and you thanked me for it. Then you sent me a box of Christmas goodies that was the highlight of Christmas last year. You weren't offended that Caden had special needs, that his mom was in prison or that his parents had been selling meth out of their home. Trust me, that told me a lot about you. Today I am here to tell you that I too thought I could not survive being responsible for someone with so many desperate needs. I grieved that the "retirement years" that my husband and I had worked all our lives for were going to be spent very differently that we had expected. I won't tell you it was easy. It wasn't. There were days (actually there were weeks) when I wondered if I would survive. Many nights I went to bed exhausted--both mentally and physically. I was a basket case--and like you, I was so disappointed that I couldn't be more stoic. But looking back, I can see God's hand in the whole situation. Today, my life is very different from what I was living three years ago. But by the grace of God, I made it through and my faith is stronger and my walk with Christ deeper than it has ever been. If I could give you any advice at all today, it would be this: Get in the Word and stay there. God will sustain you. He gives strength to the weary. And He has promised he will NEVER leave us or forsake us. In the original Greek, that word "never" means NEVER!!

You are coming through this, sister. Not "somehow" but victoriously. Please know that I am lifting you, Jack and your entire family up in prayer. Blessings to you today.

Joyce said...

Oh Teresa how my heart is aching as I read here today. I'm so behind on my reading and saw a link to this post on another blog.

I think its fine to throw all you are feeling out there on the blog, without apology. We feel what we feel. I don't know your situation but I have worked as a speech therapist with stroke patients and each case is unique. The brain and the body are amazing things and I am praying your husband makes a full and complete recovery. That you have the strength and courage needed to make hard decisions and that you feel God's perfect peace that surpasses all human understanding in the midst of this very difficult time. Sending you hugs today!

Bernie said...

Teresa you can and will do whatever you have too to help your husband. You are frightened and worried right now, yes your life is changing and you loved your old life but it still can and will be good my friend.....that is one thing you have control over...you can choose to have a good day and make the best of it. I am praying for you and your family......:-) Hugs

southerninspiration said...

Teresa, not only are we admirers of your family and your talent, but now we are friends and prayers for you. We don't need you to be anything other than yourself...don't think because you are sharing honestly that that will scare folks away. We don't mind your honesty at all; in fact, none of us could say we could do it any better. You HAVE been devastated, and I am surprised that you could even have thoughts coherent enough to blog. If you will give any specific prayer requests, then we can do that for you. Feel free to share openly; one of us may learn from you if we are on this road someday. Don't feel like you are only "followed" or "friended" because of what you have to give......for right now, just allow yourself to gain strength and healing. Isa. 41:10 says, "do not fear for I am with you, do not anxiously look around you for I am YOUR GOD...I will help you, I will strengthen you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Take care.
Suzanne

Sonja said...

Teresa:

First... we are praying! That's the most important thing I have to say...

Second... your honesty is what we need, and what you need. Not always pretty, as I am certain mine would not be either, but... you are in the midst of what we all dwell on for a mini second and wonder how we would do it... just as you are doing it... with the help of the one who steadies you and walks with you, RIGHT NOW, and in the days ahead. Please keep sharing... BECAUSE you are His... there will be much more to this story!

Praying daily....

Sonja

Holly said...

Please know nothing with God is impossible. .... Also know your blog friends are with you through this journey..anyone of us could be walking this path. We need to know the truth in order to send our strength. In prayers for your husband and entire family

Tammy said...

Teresa, I am still praying for your entire family! Girl, you have every right to be raw and emotional right now. We want you to be that way...it's a form of healing. Please do not feel like you need to reply to all of us. Get some rest, needed rest! Hugs to you!

Alison said...

We all have different ways of dealing with things and there is no right way!! You are ok. I don't know you well, but I do often read your blogs. I have been though 'stuff' such as you are going through. Just allow yourself to be enveloped in the love you are receiving from family and friends, and don't for one moment think that you are not reacting appropriately. You are!
Warm thoughts coming to you from New Zealand. xxx

Christine said...

Am praying that God is your source of strengh during this tramatic time in your lives. What you are going through now gives you every right to be in the emotional state you and your family are in. AND don't hesitate to ask your friends for help.

Mama Dub said...

I know that there are no words that can make you feel better. I know this and I know that there is no point. I have been there. However... this is all new. It's surreal, it's HARD! Cry as much as you want. God gave us that emotion and function for a reason. It's a hard pill to swallow, but one day you will find the strength. It will not be today, and more than likely it will not be this week. or even this month. But one day you will get a grip on things. I'll be praying for you ALL and just know that God is there every step of the way. His plan is far better than any plan we can create for ourselves. It's hard truth, but the truth nonetheless. Someone recently told me.. the hardest part about being a Christian is having faith and trusting. Very true indeed! It's by far the hardest.

djhdisney said...

Theresa,
Let me start by saying that I have no intention of "stopping" when it comes to following you. Though we have never met, and I have only been following you for about a year, I have felt we are truly "kindred" spirts. From our love for Disney, trip #37 in December, our love for our grandchildren, to the love of our husbands, I have been with mine since I was 15, and married for almost 36 years, we are the same.
I even run my own craft business specializing in handpainted Christmas ornaments among other things, we have alot in common.
In February 2008 Jim and I were in Disney and he as complaining once again about intestanal pain. He had been to 2 different doctors, and they had been treating him for
IBS. I have it, and I thought this seemed, well, different. When we were at the Magic Kingdom watching Wishes, I got the strangest feeling, not just my I'm in Disney feeling. I begged him the next day to get a colonoscopy.
On March 3, he had one. The doctor who was treating him for IBS couldn't even complete the test. There was a tumor. Cancer.
I felt my legs almost go out from under me. This guy was always the one taking care of me. I was always the one with health issues. I got on the phone found the best to do the surgery, and made an appointment for him. His mom came to stay with our 14 month old granddaughter that I watch.
She and I had a long, good talk, and I told her all of my fears. How would I take care of everything so he could heal?? She said don't worry, we are family, and we stick together. That is the last time I spoke or talked to her. We got a call 3 days later that she fell over in Sears and was rushed to the hospital. Stomach anyerysm. She never woke up from surgery. Three days later we scheduled Jim's surgery, and made arrangements for her funeral.
The reason why I am pouring this out to you is I am so much of a control freak its scarey. I wanted to go to bed, and wake up and have all of this never have happened. I am sure you feel the same. But I had to keep going. I owed that to him. I am not going to tell you that through his surgery, recovery, and the months of chemo I was a rock, because frankly I wasn't. Not always. Looking back I know I could have done better for him, for my girls. But I did the best I could. And we made it. Five months after surgery we walked into the Magic Kingdom holding the hands of our 18 month old granddaughter. It was Jim's goal. Even though he was going through some pretty grueling treatment, he was determined to be there for Bailey's first visit. He went through almost 2 more monts after that of treatment, and then in December of that same long horrible year, we celebrated our 34 wedding anniversary. Where else, but Disney.
Hang in there, Theresa. You are only as strong as those around you and you have some awfully strong arms supporting you.
Blessings, and pixie dust, to you and yours.
Your kindred spirit,
Debbie

Decgal's Humble Abode said...

What makes you think that fellow bloggers will stop following you? I have been through a great amount of really bad days in my life, more so recently. DO YOU KNOW THAT CRYING IS WHAT WOMEN DO BEST, CRYING IS OUR STRONG SUIT. I would rather be around a women that can cry then one that doesn't. My bff and I cry and laugh often. My husband, and I suspect most husbands tend to only handle a little bit of a womans tears. It is not that they don't care, but, that is how they have been raised. Now take a women and a box of tissue and let the tears rolls. When she is done, that is when her take charge of a bad time kicks in. So grab a box of tissue and have a good cry...you are stronger than you think. Trust me on this one. I will continue to FOLLOW YOU and YOUR BLOG for updates on your husband. God bless you. Decgal ps.I started blogging for all of the decor ideas, but, stayed for all of the nice ladies on the blog sites. WE ARE A STRONG BUNCH OF WOMEN.

Tracy Suzanne said...

Teresa, bless your heart. You are so worn out, scared to death and no one can blame you. You're friends are hear and that's exactly what friends do. They listen and continue to love. I'm still praying for you and the entire familiy. What your going through and the guilt your feeling sounds completely natural to me. I hope you're not to hard on yourself and continue to lean on the Lord and your family and friends. Remember, there is no need to reply. Just know I care.

Love and prayers...Tracy :)

Debby@Just Breathe said...

For me, having compassion in my heart for others, I will not be leaving your side/blog. I want to be with you each step of the way.
First of all I am glad that Jack is doing better and I know it will be a long journey. I know that your head is so full now with worry and lack of sleep. You can handle this, there is no doubt in my mind, you just have to get a new game plan together. It sounds to me that you have a wonderful support system and they will all give you the treatment you have been use to. One day at a time.
Keeping you, Jack and your family in my prayers. ((HUGS))

Laurie in Ca. said...

Teresa, I love you and am praying for Jack throughout my days. I am not going anywhere no matter how honest you get here. I have been afraid for you and the fears that you face. It could be me and I have been spoiled by the best man for 42 years. We are blessed and God willing will be for many more years. I am praying for you as you stumble your way through this horrendous time of uncertainty. You have my heart. Keep holding tight to your family and let His love surround you all with His peace.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

CINNIBONBON said...

*This might be a double post. I tried from my phone earlier--not sure it went through.

My dearest girl- you and your family are in my prayers. I know I can not offer you much solace right now. But please know that are on my mind.
Forget about what others might thinking after this. It's not important. These are your personal thoughts and if you chose to speak them in your space so be it! They can get over or just leave. yes, in the internet world people will come and go from your life, the important thing --however is what you cherish and that we cherish your and your ideas. Take all the time you need to blog your thoughst or perhaps not blog at all. We will still be here.

Leslee said...

Teresa...

I will surely NOT be unfollowing you as we are now in this TOGETHER!! Please feel free to spill everything here and look forward to your friends support...

Sending strength and courage ~

Sheila said...

I have been reading you blog. I am PRAYING for you and your family. I know this has to be very difficult for all of you.
God is real, and He is the one in control!!!
Blessings to you.

LillyB said...

I am praying for you and your family. Miracles happen when we do all that we can and get out of God's way and let Him take over. He will give you strength to get thru this. I promise.
Lilly

Linda said...

Praying, praying, and praying some more Grammy Girlfriend...try to get some rest...I am sure jack would want you to.

Praying for Miracles!

Linda

gayle said...

Oh but you are a very stronge lady.......I don't even really know you but I can tell just by reading your posts!! I am praying for your husband, you and your family. Please don't feel like you have to answer all your emails and phone calls..people don't expect you to......but in fact your really are with your blog posts. I too am a control type person and it is so hard on me when I am not in control of things so I know how hard it has to be on you. Just try your best that's all you can do. Know that you are loved and that your family and friends are there to help you and your blogging friends are here to listen and offer words on encouragement. With love and prayers, gayle

Paige said...

Feeling weak is totally normal--if you did not, I would wonder when you were going to fall apart. Now is a good time when you have some support around you.

You will get through this. What other choice is there? It will be okay. Hang in there

itsmrsthegreat.com said...

Unfollow you are you kidding. I'm in tears as I read this. We don't know each other we've just met in blog land. I'm crying like a baby trying to even type this comment. I've been waiting for your blog post to see how your husband is doing and praying hardcore for you guys. Wish I knew you better and could do more for you. I'm in VA and pretty sure were far apart but know my heart breaks for you and you are deeply in my prayers!!

BARBIE said...

Oh my gosh, I would never ever consider not following you or supporting you through this. I am here for you, to pray you through. I was thinking of you today and hoping you had posted an update. I will continue to pray. May God continue to give you strength and grace.

West Side of Straight said...

Yes, blogging friends canbe there to hold you up and together, just by being out here and letting you know we are praying for you as well as for your husband. We will continue to read what you write, as you written well how you are feeling. Tears filling my eyes too. and hugging you from MN. jo

Ashley said...

Teresa,

Im just finding out about your precious husband and my heart is breaking for you. I don't know what to say except that you are loved. I'm so very sorry for all the pain and uncertainty your family is experiencing. You have been such a source of comfort to me throughout Ashley's struggle and I don't even know how to begin to be one to you in this situation. I just wanted to say that I love you and I'm praying for you tonight. Sincerely, Trish Adams