I AM NOT SURE WHERE TO START

Not even sure where to start and forgive the typos tonight.  I have had one hour sleep in about the last 37 hours, but was not going to lay down tonight until I wrote a  post.  It is a rare thing for my adult son and I to share a hotel room and Amanda and Micah next door .  But that’s it tonight.  Just us. The four of us have been a team for the past 48 hours. You would be the three I would pick every time.   The day  did not start good.  We got a call very early that Jack had some setbacks during the night and they were moving him to the most serious part of the ICU, then arriving there and not seeing him for a couple of hours while they did yet another cat scan. Then there  was almost an altercation when  a bit of a smart A** neurologist, a young female doctor  told me and this is a direct quote “You ask too many questions”!  I could see all three kids out of the corner of my eye and knew exactly what they were thinking …"LADY, I would be very careful,my Mom will have you written up by the head of Baylor Medical Center before you can get out of this room”! Really all I did was stand up and say, “I will ask as many questions as I have and if you cannot answer them find someone that can.”  She was not in doubt about what I meant.    That was not the thing to say to a very tired lady going on no sleep and scared to death that the man she had been married to for 37 years was about to die.  I wish we were in Shreveport, we are NOT.  We have not seen the same doctor twice since we arrived.  Each one enters the room saying, Get me up to speed on what has happened”!  That would be computers, reports, previous doctors…That's a story for another day.  I need them to give me information and not me give it to them.  When I was finally able to get to my email, which I had cleaned out the day before all this happened, I had 212 emails, more texts and messages on my phone than I can count…Tonight there is another 187 emails.  Tonight I am too emotional to even tell you what they have meant.  Yesterday we were strong, today Amanda and I both have cried most of the day…That really hard ugly cry,  Greg and Micah have both had their moments, they are scared, but they have tried to take care of us. INSERT..Greg is now snoring.  To everyone  of you I can only say thanks from the bottom of our heart…the notes from his football players from past days would make Amanda and I bawl our eyes out.  We both look like we have been run over and then run over again.  There would be times the doctors were so grim, then a text would come at just the right moment. EVERY TEXT message or email encouraged us.  I know many of you have called…to be honest we just could not talk without crying so we turned our phones off.  The MRI did show a bleed, we pray that the one tomorrow shows it has stopped.  Because of the bleed, that means no aspirin or blood thinners and for someone with a heart issue that’s not your first choice. Jack’s heart has had some abnormal things going on…He has lost 34 pounds of fluid in 24 hours…pumping the lasix in.  I am not going into all the medical stuff because it could all be different tomorrow and its complicated. 
I am going to do something I  probably should not tonight because I am going to leave someone out.. If I leave you out I will wake up in  the middle of the night and remember…but two couples that are some of our oldest friends from our coaching days arrived about lunch.. Each drove a long way..Linda and James, Tommie and Wayne, you were the best medicine Jack has received.  We could see a total difference after you were here.  I know it was not easy for you to see him right now.  I saw it in your faces and in the tears in your eyes. Forever we will love you for making the trip today.  Debbie thanks for the key and the offer of your home. Your closeness to the hospital may be something I take you up on.
Terri, you have done more than we could ever repay…bringing us another car today, taking care of so many little things for us, picking up some meds for me and driving Greg’s car, the car dealers car that has needed an inspection sticker for a year and he works where he could get one. I am so glad that you are here now.
Jean, thank you for helping me get in touch with Larry…that was a weird request and you jumped right on it. And if you see him before me tell him thanks.  Sara you have been such a help taking care of Bella
Mike McClendon, I could not talk to you on the phone  without totally falling apart.   Amanda and I cried and cried when you said you would hop on a plane from California if we needed you.  I know how much you love Coach and don’t ever doubt for one second how much he loves you. Barb, thank you for calling from Chicago. I might not know the power of prayer without your example.   Johnny thank you for encouraging Greg…He has tried to be so strong and there has never been a boy that loved his Dad anymore than Greg loves Jack.  I have seen his lip tremble more than a few times in the last 2 days, felt his arm around my shoulder telling me everything was going to be OK, when I knew he was not sure.  Micah, your love for POP has been so evident and your hugs never more needed…and the way you love on my girl makes me love you more.  You were due that break down in the middle of the day.  We have all  had to let it go and just cry. Dana, thanks for taking care of ALL the little's and keeping their minds off POP. Pam, thank you for calling at just the right time and praying with me.  We had just gotten some scary news and were all trying to process it. Jonathan thanks for coming by. It was so good to see you.  Elizabeth, I just saw where you started the prayer page. I love you. Amanda, thank you for every time you got down close to DAD and begged him to FIGHT. He heard you.  There is no doubt that prayer got us through today and we even saw HOPE late this afternoon. And it was your prayers because I have been too overwhelmed to even pray.  Jack moved his left hand for the first time late today.  He can move all four extremities and his speech is  much better.  We are not out of the woods.  The bleed is still a huge concern..and I am a planner and for the first time in a long time and maybe ever, I can make no plans past tomorrow.  Period.  I have no clue what the next few weeks and months  hold.
Roger, you will never read this but we could not have made the past two days without you.  Your knowledge and lay term explanations have been invaluable  and your humor has  literally kept us sane. You are a ONE and ONLY, nobody else like you and man are we glad to have called  you friend for more years than I want to type. Happy Birthday…knowing you are a phone call away helps us get some sleep.  I know I have forgotten someone…My brain is fried. 
We understand now how close we came to losing Jack on Saturday morning.  That the flight crew did not really think he would make it, that a receptionist at the hotel found him and began to pray. I cannot even imagine what it was like those 4 hours he was laying in the floor waiting for help.  
I am going to sleep for a few hours feeling more encouraged than last night.  We had the kindest nurse today and she told me she had seen people in MUCH worse shape than Jack make full recoveries.  I needed to hear that.
I will try to post again tomorrow night…and praying that it will be good news.

with gratitude to God,
Teresa