Monday, October 4, 2010

I AM NOT SURE WHERE TO START

Not even sure where to start and forgive the typos tonight.  I have had one hour sleep in about the last 37 hours, but was not going to lay down tonight until I wrote a  post.  It is a rare thing for my adult son and I to share a hotel room and Amanda and Micah next door .  But that’s it tonight.  Just us. The four of us have been a team for the past 48 hours. You would be the three I would pick every time.   The day  did not start good.  We got a call very early that Jack had some setbacks during the night and they were moving him to the most serious part of the ICU, then arriving there and not seeing him for a couple of hours while they did yet another cat scan. Then there  was almost an altercation when  a bit of a smart A** neurologist, a young female doctor  told me and this is a direct quote “You ask too many questions”!  I could see all three kids out of the corner of my eye and knew exactly what they were thinking …"LADY, I would be very careful,my Mom will have you written up by the head of Baylor Medical Center before you can get out of this room”! Really all I did was stand up and say, “I will ask as many questions as I have and if you cannot answer them find someone that can.”  She was not in doubt about what I meant.    That was not the thing to say to a very tired lady going on no sleep and scared to death that the man she had been married to for 37 years was about to die.  I wish we were in Shreveport, we are NOT.  We have not seen the same doctor twice since we arrived.  Each one enters the room saying, Get me up to speed on what has happened”!  That would be computers, reports, previous doctors…That's a story for another day.  I need them to give me information and not me give it to them.  When I was finally able to get to my email, which I had cleaned out the day before all this happened, I had 212 emails, more texts and messages on my phone than I can count…Tonight there is another 187 emails.  Tonight I am too emotional to even tell you what they have meant.  Yesterday we were strong, today Amanda and I both have cried most of the day…That really hard ugly cry,  Greg and Micah have both had their moments, they are scared, but they have tried to take care of us. INSERT..Greg is now snoring.  To everyone  of you I can only say thanks from the bottom of our heart…the notes from his football players from past days would make Amanda and I bawl our eyes out.  We both look like we have been run over and then run over again.  There would be times the doctors were so grim, then a text would come at just the right moment. EVERY TEXT message or email encouraged us.  I know many of you have called…to be honest we just could not talk without crying so we turned our phones off.  The MRI did show a bleed, we pray that the one tomorrow shows it has stopped.  Because of the bleed, that means no aspirin or blood thinners and for someone with a heart issue that’s not your first choice. Jack’s heart has had some abnormal things going on…He has lost 34 pounds of fluid in 24 hours…pumping the lasix in.  I am not going into all the medical stuff because it could all be different tomorrow and its complicated. 
I am going to do something I  probably should not tonight because I am going to leave someone out.. If I leave you out I will wake up in  the middle of the night and remember…but two couples that are some of our oldest friends from our coaching days arrived about lunch.. Each drove a long way..Linda and James, Tommie and Wayne, you were the best medicine Jack has received.  We could see a total difference after you were here.  I know it was not easy for you to see him right now.  I saw it in your faces and in the tears in your eyes. Forever we will love you for making the trip today.  Debbie thanks for the key and the offer of your home. Your closeness to the hospital may be something I take you up on.
Terri, you have done more than we could ever repay…bringing us another car today, taking care of so many little things for us, picking up some meds for me and driving Greg’s car, the car dealers car that has needed an inspection sticker for a year and he works where he could get one. I am so glad that you are here now.
Jean, thank you for helping me get in touch with Larry…that was a weird request and you jumped right on it. And if you see him before me tell him thanks.  Sara you have been such a help taking care of Bella
Mike McClendon, I could not talk to you on the phone  without totally falling apart.   Amanda and I cried and cried when you said you would hop on a plane from California if we needed you.  I know how much you love Coach and don’t ever doubt for one second how much he loves you. Barb, thank you for calling from Chicago. I might not know the power of prayer without your example.   Johnny thank you for encouraging Greg…He has tried to be so strong and there has never been a boy that loved his Dad anymore than Greg loves Jack.  I have seen his lip tremble more than a few times in the last 2 days, felt his arm around my shoulder telling me everything was going to be OK, when I knew he was not sure.  Micah, your love for POP has been so evident and your hugs never more needed…and the way you love on my girl makes me love you more.  You were due that break down in the middle of the day.  We have all  had to let it go and just cry. Dana, thanks for taking care of ALL the little's and keeping their minds off POP. Pam, thank you for calling at just the right time and praying with me.  We had just gotten some scary news and were all trying to process it. Jonathan thanks for coming by. It was so good to see you.  Elizabeth, I just saw where you started the prayer page. I love you. Amanda, thank you for every time you got down close to DAD and begged him to FIGHT. He heard you.  There is no doubt that prayer got us through today and we even saw HOPE late this afternoon. And it was your prayers because I have been too overwhelmed to even pray.  Jack moved his left hand for the first time late today.  He can move all four extremities and his speech is  much better.  We are not out of the woods.  The bleed is still a huge concern..and I am a planner and for the first time in a long time and maybe ever, I can make no plans past tomorrow.  Period.  I have no clue what the next few weeks and months  hold.
Roger, you will never read this but we could not have made the past two days without you.  Your knowledge and lay term explanations have been invaluable  and your humor has  literally kept us sane. You are a ONE and ONLY, nobody else like you and man are we glad to have called  you friend for more years than I want to type. Happy Birthday…knowing you are a phone call away helps us get some sleep.  I know I have forgotten someone…My brain is fried. 
We understand now how close we came to losing Jack on Saturday morning.  That the flight crew did not really think he would make it, that a receptionist at the hotel found him and began to pray. I cannot even imagine what it was like those 4 hours he was laying in the floor waiting for help.  
I am going to sleep for a few hours feeling more encouraged than last night.  We had the kindest nurse today and she told me she had seen people in MUCH worse shape than Jack make full recoveries.  I needed to hear that.
I will try to post again tomorrow night…and praying that it will be good news.

with gratitude to God,
Teresa

43 comments:

Tracy Suzanne said...

Dear Teresa. Please don't think I expect you to reply, you are way too busy. I just wanted you to know that I continue to pray and have had your family on my mind all day. Thank you for updating us. Even though I don't know you more than through our blogging, I've been very concerned. My heart goes out to each of you. I pray you to get rest tonight and the blessings of the Lord to be with your family.

Love...Tracy

Tammy said...

Teresa, your post brings tears to my eyes. I only know you through your blog but I can feel your pain, tiredness, need for rest and love for your husband. God will bring you the strength in these very trying and tiring days to come. Just know that I am praying for you all...xoxo

partialemptynester said...

Praying, praying, praying! Your family is well-loved by so many people they don't even know...you never knew when you started this blog that one day many, many people would be in position to pray over you and your family! God is amazing like that! May this and all the other many comments that are coming through be a source of encouragement to you and your family!

Mildred said...

Teresa, I am praying for each of you. Sending a heartfelt hug, Mildred

Love Being a Nonny said...

Teresa,
I truly don't know how you posted. Praying at 5am for you , jack and your family. Much love from NC

Theresa said...

I go to bed praying and wake up praying! With all of these prayers... John is going to be fine! I will be sending good thoughts your way! Keep us informed as you can and take care of yourself. Walk outside, lift you face to the sky... that always makes me feel better when my prayers are needing to be answered.

Love to you, prayers for all of you and a ginormous Ganky HUG!

FlowerLady said...

You all have been in my thoughts and prayers. May you continue to feel God's healing love and strength flowing through and surrounding all of you.

Love and hugs ~ FlowerLady

Cindy Lou said...

Teresa, We continue to keep you, Jack and the family in our prayers! I can not imagine what you have been going through the past couple of days but I know that through prayer, God will give you the strength that you and the family stand in need of! I pray that God put his healing hand down upon Jack and touch his body and heal it!! Hugs and Love to you from Georgia!!

Bacardi Mama said...

I like Tammy, cried my way through your post. I can't even imagine what you are going through. Just know that you and Jack and your sweet family are in my prayers and I am sending good thoughts your way. ((HUGS))

Lucy and Ethel said...

My husband is a football coach, and our 37th anniversary comes in June. This time of year, which I love, is beyond exhausting and comes with a painful memory, so I was ripe for a few tears. Your post provided them :)

Sending many hugs and prayers that your next post will be one you ENJOY writing....

'Lucy'

Melinda said...

Sweet friend,

I've been checking for status updates all weekend and started my day with your blog so I would know how to pray.

The fact that you prayed for and encouraged me for MONTHS was so important to my "getting there." KNOW that I am praying and encouraging others to do the same...may the Lord shower you and Jack with HIS version of the love you show others.

Believing Him with you, my friend,
Melinda

Barbara said...

Some doctors can be so meager, makes me sick, I wanted you to know I am praying for John, you and your family in this time of trouble, I just came through surgery and God blessed so much, I am praying he will bless John as well, lots of hugs my new friend, Barbara from http://bakinnbitsbarbara.blogspot.com/

Vicki said...

Teresa, Thank you for taking the time to update, for your blog friends it's the only way for us to know how you guys are doing. I was praying the first night at 4:00 am when I awoke with you on my mind and in the midst of my prayer it occurred to me that with all of your blog friends, your personal friends, and family praying, I have no doubt that Jack is covered with prayer 24 hours a day. How awesome! Get some rest when you can, cry when you need to, and be assured that when you don't have the words to pray God knows your heart.

Debbie said...

The best medicine is God....may you feel his hands on you today. Amen and Blessings, Debbie

Shana said...

Thinking of you.
HUGS

Bernie said...

Praying so hard for Jack, you and your family.....all will be well Teresa, God handles everything.
.......:-) Hugs

Sassy Granny ... said...

Your authentic, raw honesty grips my heart. I better understand the concern and sorrow associated with being so very vulnerable; and so very hopeful.

Continuing to pray ...

Kathleen

Happy To Be/ Gl♥ria said...

Dear Teresa..You hang in there girl as God does hear your name my friend...Many prayers coming your way...A Big ole Cyber hug to you girl...Gl♥ria

ShirleyC said...

Teresa, I woke up in he middle of the night and decided to check on updates. I was glad to read this, and to see that you seem to be more encouraged. We've all been praying, and still praying God will hold you all in his arms, and give you the strength and courage you need to face each day.
I hope the doctors will be led by decisions from above, and Jack can soon be transported back to his hometown where all of your loving friends can help you and keep him cheered up.
No one expects you to respond. You have your hands full for now. I think you have done a remarkable job of trying to keep people informed. Thank God for FB, blogs, and all social medias.
I don't want to fill up your inbox with messages, but I do want you to know I never stop praying, and keeping my side of the blog world informed so they can pray also.

Hugs and love,
Shirley

Linda said...

Teresa I am just wanting you to know that I am praying for you all this morning.

I am so sorry this is happening. I am praying for a full recovery.

Linda @ Truthful Tidbits

Kat said...

Oh sweet friend, you can not imagine how much this has affected me. I fell to my knees in prayer when I first heard about it and have been praying ever since. I've asked for prayers on my blog and facebook and I know there are many who are praying. I'm worried about you and your children too and sure wish I could be there. I really do......

Hugs and much love,
Kat

deepintheheartoftexas2 said...

Praying for you and your family.

Beth.. One Blessed Nana said...

oh, Teresa, I am praying for Jack and for all of you as well!

Isn't it wonderful to know that he is in God's hands and that His protective wings are cradling him even now???

Love and prayers,
Beth

fahnmamma said...

I too only know you through your blog....I am praying for you, your husband and family. I know all too well 'the too busy to pray' feeling during a trama. That's where the body of Christ comes in.....we are holding you up to the throne of God! May the peace of Jesus be with you...

Doris

South Family said...

Oh my! I haven't blogged in forever and I just now saw this! I am so sorry this has happened! I just want you to know that Jack, you, and your family are in my prayers.

Lynn said...

Teresa please know I am praying for your family. I only know you through your blog but reading your posts I had tears running down my
face. I pray God will give each of you the strength and peace you need for each day. Rest in His everlasting arms.

Diana Mieczan said...

Ohhh I am sooo sorry...You and your family are in my thoughts
Kisses

Laurie in Ca. said...

I am praying so hard for Jack and am pleading with God to keep him safe and whole. Teresa, my prayers for you are from my wife's heart, asking Him to keep your thoughts and heart close to Him. I believe with all my heart that God will keep Jack safe while he makes a full recovery. Praying for your whole family.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Grandma Cyndi said...

Teresa, I did not email because I did not want to add to your burden of feeling like you had to respond, just know that since the second I read Terri's post you and Jack have been in my prayers and on my mind. You will feel the power of prayer more than you ever imagined possible thru this ordeal. You are not alone, somewhere in the world someone is speaking to the Lord on your behalf right now and He will carry you thru this. Thank you for taking the time to keep us updated, we are all holding the best possible thoughts for you.

Leslee said...

My dear friend Teresa...

My heart aches for you and I can hear in your words how frightened you are. I hope knowing that from ALL the way here in Northern CA I am sending you big HUGS and have had you i& your family in my prayers every night since hearing about Jack.

I'm sure that having your family and friends around will help to keep you strong through this very tough time.

Appreciate the updates and will continue to think and pray for Jack, you and your family!

BARBIE said...

Theresa, know that I am lifting your precious husband up in prayer and asking God to intervene with His healing, supernaturally and completely. Praying for His peace to overwhelm you and your family, and that God would dispatch His ministering angels to your husbands bedside.

simple country living! said...

Teresa~I, like Tammy, only know you thru your blog~I will continue to lift your husband, as well as you & your family, up in prayer! I pray that our Warrior, JESUS, surround you all with a supernatural peace &
strength that you all have never known before this trying time!
~blessings~
Leona

Maryann said...

May the Lord pour abundant Blessings in all forms on every single member of your family!! I am praying for you all!

Maryann said...

May the Lord pour abundant Blessings in all forms on every single member of your family!! I am praying for you all!

Emily Simmons said...

Continuing to pray for you and the kids and especially Jack. He sure sounds like a fighter and we will believe nothing less than him making a full recovery, knowing that all the Glory will be to God!!!

Holly said...

May Gods grace bless all of you and brign you strength. Prayers from Oregon

Sonja said...

Teresa:
I hoppped over from another blog to read this posting. Please know that I am joining all of you to stand in prayer for your hubby.
NOTHING is impossbile with God!

We are going to be praying... from Rockwall, Texas, close to Baylor...

Sonja

Paige said...

Hang in there !

Nichole said...

I am so very sorry for you. I will say a prayer as well.
~Love

billypandnikkysmom said...

I am praying for your sweet husband & for all of you...try to get some rest he will need you in the days to come. Stay strong & God Bless...

Just a little something from Judy said...

I have been trying to catch up on blog visits and came here to discover all that you and your family are going through. Oh, how I hurt for you and promise to pray for your dear husband. I cannot imaging all that you have had to face in this difficult and painful situation. Please be sure that many are hurting with you as they read these post. Please let us know as the days go by.

Debby@Just Breathe said...

Sounds like you have had the support of some wonderful people and that is such a blessing. Praying that each day will bring better news of Jack's recovery.
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. ((HUGS))

gayle said...

Please know I am praying!!