Sunday, September 30, 2012

The Real Life of the Powells

Our brokenness is a far better bridge to others than our pretend wholeness ever is was a tweet I read today from Sheila Walsh.....

I have written ten posts in my head late at night after I lay down. By morning I am too sleep deprived to type them and another day passes.

I never intended to become a once a month blogger. I promise not to stay one. So many of you have emailed me and I have not been avoiding you, I just have not had the emotional energy to write. 
For four years I have shared all the happy times in our lives, trips with family, cherished days with the little's, many visits to see the MOUSE.... You know my love of little boys...especially mine.

You have prayed me through very sick babies, my husbands stroke and rehab, the death of both my parents, an injury during tree season.

We banded together to pray for a little boy named Crew.  We have done life together since I leaped into the blog world.

We all know life is not all pretty. And I am not always the bubbly Christmas Tree Lady..although I need to take on that role very soon.

I heard Ann Romney say on Kelly and Michael, that no matter whether you are rich , poor, black, white or purple,
we all walk through hard places. (I do love Michael probably has to do with my love for football)

That is where I am have been and and still am and the reason I have not been blogging.

A dark place. Broken...Sad, Tired, Heart sick, Full of fear....but I do see some light! The situation is not one you share with everyone.
I DO know THAT every time I get real transparent, I get emails from others that are walking down the same road. 
Encouragement is something I think we probably all need a dose of.

Our beautiful daughter,Amanda, mom to Jack and Parker, as most of you know, moved to the other side of Houston in July.

Nothing and I mean nothing has ever hit me like being away from them on a daily basis. I have not seen the boys in 50 plus days (hopefully this will be the week I see them) !!!!!

NONE of us have handled it right. Some think I have a chronic and severe case of EMPTY NEST SYNDROME.   This is really my first time to have an empty nest in 38 years.
Some think I just got deeply depressed and kept spiraling ....
There have been hurt feelings, silence, "get your act together", from Greg, "Mom, they are only 5 hours away"! 

In our family if one person is UPSET, it upsets everyone.

Let's just say in Empty Nest I have failed miserably. 
I do trees to pay the bills, but my PASSION is grandchildren.
I understand that most grandparents do not see their grand kids everyday, but our situation had been different. For almost the first seven years of his life Parker lived with us and then along came Jack and he stayed with us so much. When those boys moved at 13 and 4, neither had ever stayed with a babysitter.  And I had never been without a LAUGH. 
YOU name the emotion and we have had it.

(Don't think I have been in a mental hospital......I have just been so sad) 

I have cried 10,000 tears, seen a couple of doctors for fear I was losing my mind, panicked daily because I am behind on tree stuff, been paralyzed at home so sad I could not function.

It's not something you can talk about with many people ...but as Sheila Walsh said,
Our brokenness is a far better bridge to others than our pretend wholeness ever is. .....

so I am sharing it with YOU!

Now in the middle of all this Jack has had some medical tests run. We did not get the results we had hoped for. 
His heart is tired and causing some pulmonary problems... He is trying some new inhalers and some pulmonary rehab and it will take a couple of months to know if that is helping. 
So we wait and I worry...and pray. Things seem to be good right now. But I know from experience things can change in a moment.

He is my rock and I have never known it more than during these last two months.

We are in Dallas in a great hotel watching football today and ordering room service.(one of our favorite things to do) !!

I have had some huge problems with insomnia in the last few months and last night slept TEN hours without waking up.  Thank you Lord.

We are here to go to market tomorrow and Tuesday. This week is the 2nd Anniversary of his stroke right here in this town. The fact that he is sitting here by me on the bed reading the paper and drinking coffee in itself is a miracle. I know MIRACLES. Thank you Lord.

Since you have not seen any pictures for awhile, I will leave you with a few that make me smile. 








And because you have patiently waited for me to come back, I have a GIVEAWAY.....A $50.00 card box....everyone's favorite and I have a new supply of cards.....
I will have PARKER draw next weekend when he is HOME.

Coming soon....some holiday news...We have a new house that is going to be so much fun....full of Elves and Santas ..a winter wonderland for someone else's little grandchildren. We are on an ELF hunt right now...we need 200.

If anyone in blogland would like to do a Christmas post on A Baby Changes Everything and maybe generate some traffic for their blog, I would love to offer it for the next couple of weeks...just leave it in the comments...For the next three weeks I will be getting ready for the season. We do our first tree on Oct 25th. 

Now hoping to visit some blogs.  I have missed you. 


almost forgot.....this is my good friend and was my 6 month old neighbor when we moved to Shreveport 22 years ago....and the most AMAZING KID