THANK YOU FOR CARING

I would give anything to write a post and tell you I am feeling positive, encouraged, full of hope, and all was right with the world.  Because I can’t say that and be real, I hesitate to even post.  I hope I get there,I think I will and maybe as soon as I can get better physically I will feel better mentally, but I am not there yet.  I did go to the doctor today and I have bronchitis and got a good lecture about taking care of myself and not feeling guilty about it. That if I didn’t I was going to have pneumonia.  I got a couple of shots and some meds but more than anything else, he said to me as I was leaving that he was never  more than a phone call away, day or night.  He talked to me about strokes and that my personality and stokes were not a great mixture.  I am a get it done, get it fixed, not very patient personality and stokes are slow recovery, non predictable, no quick fix and many ups and downs and different in everyone.  I want to walk in the room and Jack be the old Jack that I have loved for almost 40 years.  Instead I walk in and I feel like I am talking to a stranger.  Add this to hating anything medical from the smell to the look of the rooms I feel panic, real panic…For those of you that don’t have a problem with this, I am sure you are thinking what a wimp..That’s what I think too….I tried to think of what I could compare it to….maybe flying…I love to fly, have absolutely no fear, but I have friends that need sedation to just get on a plane and they are in a panic the entire time they are in the air. 
I would like to crawl in the bed and get up 6 months from now. With 75 Christmas trees to decorate that is not possible.  And if I ever needed to work, its this year…All my help has stepped up and offered to help in anyway to make it easier and I love them for that. 
Since we arrived home last Friday night we have been blessed by so many meals, gift cards, and words of encouragement.   Those people will never know how much their reaching out has meant.  The little's seem to be fine with just the words “Pop is sick”  They now go to see him for breakfast everyday. Micah, I love you for caring so much.  I know this is hard on you.   Jack is working hard in PT, OT and Speech Therapy everyday. He is having a hard time realizing his limitations and that's dangerous.  The doctor told me today that patients so determined like Jack end up being much more of a risk of breaking a bone because they believe they  can do anything.  Just another worry.  Tomorrow they are doing another MRI to be sure the bleed has totally stopped bleeding.  When I look back at my life 12 days ago, it seems like a dream.  Sadly its not.
For those of you that won ornaments they are coming…I promise….
In just a few days I am going to have a new blog design on my holiday blog….and we will start our holiday posts. That way you will have something to read other than doom and gloom. For right now, I need to post my real feelings….the good bad and some real ugly…Hopefully I will be able to look back and see how far we have come in the days ahead. 
I am not a good holiday packer after the season, but TERRI is GREAT, so I am going to get her to give you some tips on keeping your holiday things ORGANIZED. 
I have not commented on many blogs recently and read very few. I hate that I don't have the energy or time..but I will be back soon…you have all been so faithful to encourage me…
I have a long list of thank you notes that I need to get written to so many people that came to Dallas during last week.
Just in case I have not told you this…On the day that Jack had the stroke, within an hour the manager of the HAMPTON INN, called me and said that we could have as many rooms as we needed for as long as we were in Dallas at NO CHARGE…I don’t think that happens much anymore, so NICE STILL EXISTS in the BIG CITY. At the end of 7 days we walked out with a zero balance and they even left gift baskets in our rooms. 
with love to every blog friend. you have blessed me with your concern.