Thursday, October 14, 2010


I would give anything to write a post and tell you I am feeling positive, encouraged, full of hope, and all was right with the world.  Because I can’t say that and be real, I hesitate to even post.  I hope I get there,I think I will and maybe as soon as I can get better physically I will feel better mentally, but I am not there yet.  I did go to the doctor today and I have bronchitis and got a good lecture about taking care of myself and not feeling guilty about it. That if I didn’t I was going to have pneumonia.  I got a couple of shots and some meds but more than anything else, he said to me as I was leaving that he was never  more than a phone call away, day or night.  He talked to me about strokes and that my personality and stokes were not a great mixture.  I am a get it done, get it fixed, not very patient personality and stokes are slow recovery, non predictable, no quick fix and many ups and downs and different in everyone.  I want to walk in the room and Jack be the old Jack that I have loved for almost 40 years.  Instead I walk in and I feel like I am talking to a stranger.  Add this to hating anything medical from the smell to the look of the rooms I feel panic, real panic…For those of you that don’t have a problem with this, I am sure you are thinking what a wimp..That’s what I think too….I tried to think of what I could compare it to….maybe flying…I love to fly, have absolutely no fear, but I have friends that need sedation to just get on a plane and they are in a panic the entire time they are in the air. 
I would like to crawl in the bed and get up 6 months from now. With 75 Christmas trees to decorate that is not possible.  And if I ever needed to work, its this year…All my help has stepped up and offered to help in anyway to make it easier and I love them for that. 
Since we arrived home last Friday night we have been blessed by so many meals, gift cards, and words of encouragement.   Those people will never know how much their reaching out has meant.  The little's seem to be fine with just the words “Pop is sick”  They now go to see him for breakfast everyday. Micah, I love you for caring so much.  I know this is hard on you.   Jack is working hard in PT, OT and Speech Therapy everyday. He is having a hard time realizing his limitations and that's dangerous.  The doctor told me today that patients so determined like Jack end up being much more of a risk of breaking a bone because they believe they  can do anything.  Just another worry.  Tomorrow they are doing another MRI to be sure the bleed has totally stopped bleeding.  When I look back at my life 12 days ago, it seems like a dream.  Sadly its not.
For those of you that won ornaments they are coming…I promise….
In just a few days I am going to have a new blog design on my holiday blog….and we will start our holiday posts. That way you will have something to read other than doom and gloom. For right now, I need to post my real feelings….the good bad and some real ugly…Hopefully I will be able to look back and see how far we have come in the days ahead. 
I am not a good holiday packer after the season, but TERRI is GREAT, so I am going to get her to give you some tips on keeping your holiday things ORGANIZED. 
I have not commented on many blogs recently and read very few. I hate that I don't have the energy or time..but I will be back soon…you have all been so faithful to encourage me…
I have a long list of thank you notes that I need to get written to so many people that came to Dallas during last week.
Just in case I have not told you this…On the day that Jack had the stroke, within an hour the manager of the HAMPTON INN, called me and said that we could have as many rooms as we needed for as long as we were in Dallas at NO CHARGE…I don’t think that happens much anymore, so NICE STILL EXISTS in the BIG CITY. At the end of 7 days we walked out with a zero balance and they even left gift baskets in our rooms. 
with love to every blog friend. you have blessed me with your concern. 


Ann Nichols said...

I think you are one of the braves of people; to be honest with the fears and pain that you are feeling proves it.
Many prayers for you and Jack are sent your way,
(I am just so so sorry that you are going through this very trying time...)

Linda said...

Teresa, thanks for sharing your feelings with us. And it does help us know how to pray for you.

Hoping you will get well soon so that you will be strong enough to take care of things. I know it is hard...but as I said we will be praying...along with all of your other bloggy friends!

So sorry you have gone through all of this. I am so thankful that Jack is alive.

I am sending {{Hugs}} along with my very best wishes for Jack's full recover.

God is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think!

Linda @ Truthful Tidbits

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing with us and I pray that physically you will begin to feel better with the meds and I continue to pray for you to have strength for the coming months. I continue to lift Jack up in prayer. I know that prayer works! Please know that you and your family are in our hearts and prayers.

Bacardi Mama said...

If you can't share your feeling here, then where can you. That is what we are all here for, to support and care for each other. You are being very brave, loving and supportive. Just hold God's hand. He is right there next to you all the time. ((HUGS))

FlowerLady said...

Dear Theresa ~ Just take each day as it comes, trusting in God to take care of you and Jack. May you soon be up and about so that you can help Jack on his road to recovery.

Continued love and prayers for you both and the rest of your family as well.


Joyce said...

I think you need to come on here and just dump out the feelings you are feeling. Stroke recovery is definitely a process, some days one step forward and two steps back. I too pray you look back one day and are amazed at where you have been and where you are.

God meets us where we are. He is right there. You are surprised by all that has happened but God is not surprised. He knows the end from the beginning and He loves you. He will walk with you thru this, come what may.

So glad you have lots of real life support and work to distract and a family who loves. (((Teresa)))

Summer said...

Oh my goodness I am so sorry to hear that Jack had a stroke! Girl DO NOT apologize for not being able to comment etc., you have alot of important things going on right now and we understand sweetie! I will say an extra prayer for Jack, you and your family today! I to am very scared of hospitals since I have to go so much and I get anxiety and they call it White Coat Anxiety I bet that is what you get as well! When we see Dr.'s we feel uneasy blech!

That is great that Jack is improving I just pray he doesn't try to over do it!

Sorry to hear you are sick as well take care of you and get well quick


Nezzy said...

Oh my dear friend, as you are lost without the 'old Jack' know God is working. Know that when you feel your lowest and that all the hope has drained that you have a 'crazy' gal down here in the Ozarks lifting you both up to God. There is power in prayer and I do pray you can feel it. I often tell those who have prayed, "I could feel your prayers." Honey, I want you to feel 'em surround you in peace, warmth and love.

I'm just believing that God has a big miracle for Jack. Take care of you to girl. I'm that 'get-'er-done type gal too and have fallin' flat far to many time tryin' to take care of everyone else.

God bless you sweetie and I'm here for you and if I can help in anyway, just let me know!


Tracy Suzanne said...

Teresa please take care of yourself. I know it's so much easier to say that than to do it. I'm glad to know that you have so many people physically around you outside of blogland. You're in my prayers and of course Jack as well.

May your day be blessed and may you rest guilt free and get well.
Hugs...Tracy :)

LisaShaw said...

Teresa, thank you for sharing your heart in a real way. Praying for you and your husband.

Blessings and peace!

Sunny Sue said...

For you to share your feelings and struggles through this experience, let's us all know that you are REAL. :-) I have never known anyone that works as hard and as much as you do and stays so positive all of the time!

Accept this time as a "breather" for you to rest and fully recover while Jack works hard to do the same. Your family will be even stronger when this is over. And, you are being able to see just how many people you have all blessed over the years as they return their love.

Continuing to pray for God's rest from your weariness and for a full recovery for you and Jack.

Vicki said...

I get that you feel your blog is all "doom and gloom", but be assured that to a reader (at least to me) it is not! It's real life. And in real life we all need each other at one time or another. You have paid it forward to many times to others and now it's your turn to be blessed in return. Also, by you being real about your thoughts, emotions, fears, concerns, I can guarantee that you are encouraging someone who is going through a similar situation. You, Jack, and the family are in my prayers... take care!

marty (A Stroll Thru Life) said...

God Bless, I will continue to pray. Hugs, Marty

Lynn said...

Teresa, thank you for being honest about your feelings. For one thing it makes it easier to pray for you and I also think that in being honest about the hard things in life we can encourage others who are going through similar things. God wants us to be honest about how we feel, He knows anyway and can He handle it! I have been in some very hard places and I encourage you to just keep your eyes on Jesus and put one foot in front of the other. I also know some days that is almost more than you can do! But He is our Jehovah Jireh, our Provider and He keeps His promises!

Tammy said...

Teresa, do not worry about your blog friends needing to hear from you individually. Continue posting your feelings for is great therapy for you and we want to know how you and Jack are. We love you girl...take all the time you need.

I "get" the anxiety...I experience it at the strangest of times...when something is out of my comfort I understand. I will pray for you that you can get past it.

Hugs to you girl!

Heart2Heart said...


WOW to say you have been through a lot these days sounds like such an understatement. Don't lose heart, sweet friend because you have such a huge following of people who are praying for you and lifting your families needs up daily in prayer. Isn't that what we are called to do when a family member needs us?

I consider you my family. You've been there with me in big and small storms and I will be there for you through this one. Please take care of yourself, put your priorities in order and if need be, take some time off of blogging until you are well enough. Our prayers will continue and so will our love.

You are special and such an amazing woman, I know God is watching over you. Remember those aren't dark clouds over your head but the shadows of His wings drawing you near and keeping you close.

Love and Hugs ~ Kat

Debby@Just Breathe said...

I can only imagine your fears about the future but you must take care of yourself so you can be there for Jack. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Kristens Creations said...

Hi Teresa, I'm still thinking about you and praying for you, Jack and the entire family. Keep us posted, I check your facebook everyday.

Love, Kristen

Theresa said...

Take baby steps if you can! Get to feeling better and take care of yourself! Then you will be able to move forward! It sounds like you have a great support system and everyone wants to help! Let them! We will all be here when you need us and don't worry about commenting, just let us hear how things are going! I am praying for all of you! Love to all!

Kat said...

Hi sweet girlfriend! I've been praying for you and Jack daily. I've been worried about you since I know you've been so sick and stress is not good any time, but especially when you're sick. The timing is bad too since it's tree time. Wish I lived close enough to come be one of your elves.

Take care of you.

Big hugs and love,

gayle said...

You are in my thoughts and prayers!! Please don't feel like you have to do everything this year that you did last Christmas time. One year...think 2006.. we put a tiny ceramic tree up and we still had a wonderful Christmas.

Leslee said...

I am so glad you feel you can be open and honest with all of us bloggy friends - WE DO CARE! We appreciate you keeping us updated on Jack's rehab and your status; speaking of which... LISTEN TO THE DOC, you cannot take care of anyone if you are sick!! You need to get better and stronger -

Much love you you and your family!

Personalized Sketches and Sentiments said...

Oh Teresa! I'm sorry to hear what all has transpired since I've been away. Prayers for Jack, you and your family! We returned from our visit with family this weekend, but then it was jump right back into work...until today and tomorrow-I have off, so hope to catch up on blog reading!

Blessings & Aloha!
I also wanted to let you know that one of your comments (I actually split your comments into their separate parts and it was the part about "...will post your button..." was drawn for an 8x10 baby design. Please come by or let me know if you are interested. NO rush! Please get lots of rest!

Personalized Sketches and Sentiments said...

I went back through the posts that I had missed since we left on Sept 30th...Teresa, my heart goes out to all of you! And prayers for Jack and your health to be restored.

Throughout the past days, through your is so good to hear of all the support from your family and friends.

Blessings & Aloha!
And again...absolutely NO rush on getting in touch about my little giveaway for you. Goodness! That is definitely the least concern.

Laurie in Ca. said...

Praying constantly Teresa and just keep sharing your heart here with the good and bad and ugly. Let us pray for these things and don't feel you are dragging anyone down. I have been married 42 years to my guy and have always secretly feared this happening to us. And it can. So just take care of yourself sweetie so you can handle this day by day with a new strength. Hold on and know God is right there with you and Jack and family.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

billypandnikkysmom said...

You can vent, rant & rave here all you want!!! You need to get your feelings out & you need to know that it's o.k. to have those it's not a dream and yes it will take time, God is with you & Jack and with time he will get better. You need to get better too, not feeling good isn't helping, please take a few days and just rest. The trees will get done , prizes can be mailed!!!! I hope that Love on your littles and know that I am keeping all of you in my prayers!

Merana Leigh said...

T - I'm continuing to pray for you & Jack & the whole family, sweet friend! DON'T PUSH YOURSELF TOO MUCH. ALLOW the help - put your red cape away for awhile!!! Hugs & love ~ Merana