Wednesday, October 20, 2010

A FIRST

Tonight I am putting up my Christmas tree.  It is the first time in 38 years that Jack is not sitting in his chair telling me how great it looks.  Jack is not here and has not been for almost three weeks. You might want to stop right here and look at the little's.
It’s a good thing I wrote a few funnies on Saturday night, as nothing has been funny since.  I am not going to bore you with all the details but this has not been a good few days.  Jack was fighting an infection on Sunday and Monday, thus no rehab in case it was a blood clot.  I think that has been ruled out now.  No rehab equaled a down and really somewhat depressed man.  Something I have rarely seen in the last 38 years. 
People  have done crazy things. I am not going to go into it on the blog, but when you think you have seen everything, trust me you have not.  This is not something I am wanting you to wonder about, its just something I have not decided how I am going to deal with.  And if I wrote about it I would get 100 comments and they would all say, “I am rereading the post to be sure I got that right”!
One blog buddy gave me some great advice.  Totally focus on the things that really matter; Jack getting better, my kids and the little's, and my business (which because of the time of year, I have no other choice).  Then drop everything else.  That’s my new plan.
I am still learning.  I have learned that a giant catastrophe in life divides friends from real friends.  I did not realize people could make such stupid remarks when someone is sick and make suggestions that border on insane. Lord, help me never to assume anything when someone is sick. 
Hard times teach you a lot. I have learned that we, even in our small family unit all process this differently. We all cope different and we all have different breaking points. There is no “how to book”  on reacting to something that scares you to death.
Part of me is so mad at myself  for not insisting there was a problem when the doctor seemed to take some huge symptoms so lightly. Jack trusted this doctor, he wanted to believe that he knew what he was doing and though I questioned it regularly, I did not really insist that we make a change.  How I wish I had. 
There have been those friends that have helped me more than they will ever realize.  You have a thank you note coming (probably in 2011) but for now, know that I will never forget your kindness.  Some of you that have done what seemed like small things. You will never know what a difference you have made. Terri, thank you for doing what I could not do yesterday, FOCUS. You got more done in a few hours than I have in a week.
Jack is working hard and we think we have found a great just rehab place as soon as all the medical issues are resolved.  I want him to get every ounce of great rehab that is available.
I will leave you with some happy faces..Jack getting to sit in the pilots seat this weekend, Jack and Grayson having a cousins play night, Jack insisting that little Grayson push him and Jack sleeping with his Aunt Dana while the rest of us were  all in Dallas.
 Jack flying 2
CousinsGrayson pushing JACK JACK SLEEPNG WITH aunt dana
I see happiness in Jack’s eyes when the boys get up in the bed with him.  They love pushing all the buttons on the bed, paging the nurses.  Let’s just say everyone in the rehab facility knows them…Jack bit someone at school today and Amanda asked him if he was sorry.  That would be a NO, the boy had his STUFF.
For the next couple of weeks, my posts will probably be weekly.  We have a huge deadline to get Christmas stuff ready. My house looks like Christmas Wonderland right now. That’s my house not my heart.   The problem is there is no where to step without stepping on a wreath or knocking a tree over.
Thank you again for all the notes of encouragement.  This is foreign territory for me. And most days I have failed miserably on this test.

 

28 comments:

Mandy from Burkett Blessings said...

Teresa,
I'm so sorry you're going through so much right now. I will be praying for you and your family. God will see you through. Lean on Him, trust Him, and believe that HE is able to make it all better. Praying for peace, rest, and that He will do exceedingly and abundantly more than you could ever ask or imagine. (Ephesians 3:20).
love,
Mandy

Tina D Long said...

Continued prayers & love for you all! Always enjoy reading your 'stuff.' You've always been such a wonderful inspiration .. and I love your new *focus* .. you hang in there!

tina

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

I loved seeing the pictures of Jack and Grayson. Grayson is getting to be a big boy. I know that they are the best medicine ever for your Jack.

Hang in there! I'm glad that you have so many wonderful people in your life and close by to help you where you need it the most.

Take care of yourself.

Tammy said...

Do post pics of your winter wonderland! I would love to see it.

Hang in there girl! I continue to pray and think of you often.

Emily Simmons said...

Praying for all of you. I can't imagine.

Emily

Theresa said...

Sweet little faces always make me smile! Teresa, just try to keep looking to the next day because it is going to get better! I know you have felt discouraged at times!I firmly believe that your precious "Love of your LIFE" will be all better soon, back to helping with the trees and all other things he enjoys!

Love and continued prayers coming your way!

FlowerLady said...

Teresa ~ You are NOT failing. You are living life one step at a time, and God is right there with you. He is your strength when you feel like collapsing. He is loving you every step of the way.

Love and continued prayers for you and Jack.

FlowerLady

Life Happens said...

Thinking of you and praying for your family. Stay focus on the positives. Getting ready for Christmas is a great way to remember the greatest gift of all, the Savior!

Nezzy said...

My heart and prayer go out to you both sweetie.

No, you have not failed miserably and please don't kick yourself because of hindsight...it's always 20/20 and we are so not fortune tellers. I know your heart wants what's best for the love of your life, always and forever.

Take care of yourself, I know you were hit with the 'crud' hard durin' all this. Grab onto every little baby step of positive thought ya can. Try not to let those 'crazy' people get ya down. I know it's hard they seem to hit when your at your lowest.

I'm here for you any time girl. I sooo wish I could do more but know my prayers are right there beside you liftin' ya'll up.

God bless and have a beautiful day just basking in His presence.

Hugs..........

Joyce said...

Keep on keeping on. Thinking of you and keeping you all in prayer.

LisaShaw said...

I am praying for Jack and will continue and I'm praying for you.

My heart is full for all that you and Jack are facing and I trust GOD is in the midst with you.

At one point in my 20 yrs of marriage my husband's body was not his own. For 3 years the enemy attacked but GOD KEPT him strong in the midst. The dr's were often not hopeful and MANY who were Christians that knew us well, said some of the wrong things -- some things were very hurtful to my heart because I just wanted them to pray not analyze or judge the situation. WE ARE NOT GOD. There is only one and we are not HIM!

I had to distance a few so that nothing negative was being spoken directly to us.

Some mean well but their words can be penetrating and upsetting. Others may not be invested in your life in a way that you thought and when hell rises up that's when you can sort the sheep from the goats in your life. I remained caring and prayerful for them.

GOD moved in the situation with my hubby as I trust He is doing with your Jack.

Stand firm in the LORD and know that He's with you both.

Much love and prayers!

Vicki said...

Good for you for choosing what to focus on! You're right, one of the most painful yet valuable lessons we learn during any bad time is who we can count on, and who we can't. When it happened to me, I decided to turn it into a lesson of how I would react to others when it's their turn for a bad time. Cling to the friends that are real friends and let the rest of it go. Tons of prayers are being murmured on your behalf, how awesome!

ShirleyC said...

I know how hard it is to get focused on your "need to get done jobs" when you have so much on your mind. Like someone said above, your littles are the best medicine for you both. I know mine have kept me going many days.
I do pray Jack can overcome his hurdles and be patient when things don't go his way. I know when some people have a stroke, it effects their personality thus making it tough on the caregivers. My heart goes out to you, and you are in my prayers daily.
If there is anything I can do to help, I would be glad to.

Nina Diane said...

yes...concentrate only on the things that are important. The other stuff can wait. I'm thinking of ya'll every day in my prayers. Keep yourself healthy, I may not "know" you but I think of your family often and look for your updates. wishing you well my friend...

Mammy said...

Hang in there, Girlfriend. You can do this. Be thankful for the good and let go of the rest. Just keep the main thing the main thing.

Praying for you, your babies and your man.

Keep the faith!

Debby@Just Breathe said...

I doubt that you have failed, no not you. We live and learn, you are in a whole new place, one day at a time is all that is expected of you. Keeping you and Jack in my prayers.

Sandi @the WhistleStop Cafe said...

You remain in our prayers. I don't always comment, but I always pray.

Edwina at The Picket Fence said...

I got your message today. Don't you even worry about me girl. Your plate is full and you have Jack to look after. I will put him on my prayer list and stand in the gap with you and believe for his healing. God is good and ever working behind the scenes on our behalf.

Bacardi Mama said...

You have not failed at anything. Do not let yourself think that. I continue to pray for you and your family.

Sally said...

My thoughts and prayers continue for all of you. Don't let people bring you down, though. I always hope to say the right thing at times like this, but sometimes words fly out of my mouth that I later regret. After my 17 y/o grandson was killed 2 years ago - about four months later (someone whom I thought was a 'friend') made the remark that she couldn't believe that my daughter wasn't "over it". :(

Take care of yourself the best you can! (((hugs)))

Carol S. said...

Big prayers lifted for (1) Jack's recovery, 2) the kids and littles, and 3) your business. And of course, you. I dropped by from Beach Kat's and from the little I've seen, you've got a very strong core (that's getting tested like crazy, and no wonder you feel like you failed the test...you've never taken these courses before). All I can do is offer encouragement, and soooo much more important, join the hundreds or thousands of others lifting Jack up in our prayers.

Kat said...

Praying for you...every day!

Love you sweet friend.

Hugs,
Kat

Anonymous said...

I definitely want to read a bit more soon. BTW, rather nice design this blog has, but don’t you think it should be changed once in a few months?

Doris said...

I continue to pray! Take one day at a time....

Just a little story about a blessing gift when my daughter was in rehab after her life changing accident....a single guy at our church wanted to help us with something. Every once in a while he handed me a roll of quarters. What a special gift, although he thought it wasn't much....I traveled the PA turnpike everyday for 5 weeks and those quarters helped pay the toll! Maybe a small thing but a huge blessing!

I rejoice that you are blessed with the support of those standing with you =)

Kristens Creations said...

Teresa, You and your family are in my prayers daily! I still can't imagine how this is affecting you all. I pray the therapy works and Jack is back to normal asap. I know things take time though...I recieved your check and card the other day...thank you. Loved all of the butterflies on the envelope! I will have some things ready to post tonight. I am busy making things for my show too. I just realized the other day it's in a month and I have over 100 items to make! Thanks for everything...take care! Kristen

gayle said...

Thinking and praying for you!!
Cute pictures....I know they bring you so much joy!!

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for sharing. You are an amazing lady. Just want to encourage you, and let you know that even though we do not know each other, God sure knows you, and I am praying for you.
God bless!
- Cyndy

Personalized Sketches and Sentiments said...

Just want to let you know that thoughts and prayers continue for all of you...I know that you hear this and it may be easy to say...but do be sure to get some rest between all that you are doing.

Blessings & Aloha!