Thursday, February 3, 2011

PARKER’S DAD

(I posted this is on  A Baby Changes Everything yesterday and decided I would repost on my main blog)  There might just be someone that needs it today.)

I could not decide which blog I should post this on.  This is a post I have thought about writing many times.  A post that I will have run by Amanda before I post it.  There are things that are just family business, but I am hopeful this post will encourage someone.  I have received emails and comments about PARKER, THE BABY THAT CHANGED EVERYTHING.  If you have read my blog for anytime you know Parker is our oldest “little” who is eleven and not so little anymore.  It literally seems like yesterday that my then 18 year old Amanda, sitting in our pastor and good friends office, both of them crying and looked at me and said “Mom, I’m pregnant”!  I can tell you a thousand things that would have rocked my boat more than that.  She will confirm to you that my reaction was not much more than, “We need to get a nursery decorated”!  And we did.  I had just finished tree season and so from that very ordinary day in January until May all we did was plan, decorate, dream and eat.  We laugh at how many times she and I ate out.  Within a week we knew it was a boy.  And this was a boy that I could not wait to get my hands on.  From that moment in the delivery room when I got to cut the cord, I have been crazy in love with this boy, a love I never knew existed.  Thank you Amanda for handing me that precious gift. Parker was our only grandchild for seven years.  When Greg married Dana, we were blessed with Austin.  Then eight years after Parker, Jack came on the scene…and then the next year we were blessed with Grayson.  BUT PARKER had a LONG TIME where he was the one and only.  He and Amanda lived with us the first five years of his life.  He is the meaning behind the title of my other blog.  He DID CHANGE EVERYTHING. 
In  other posts I  have told you all about him. He is brilliant, he is well traveled, he knows the Mouse well, he is kind, he is well mannered,  he is handsome, he is a little adult that takes being a big brother to Jack very serious. Parker and Jack
He said tonight, “Grammy doesn't Jack have the cutest laugh” and he does.   Parker bears the name of both my grandfathers, his great-grandfathers. He is called by my Moms maiden name, his Moms middle name.  There is no doubt in my mind he will be a world changer.  Yep, he is pretty near perfect, at least this Grammy thinks so.  I have told you all that before.  I have also told you how protective we were when Amanda married.  How scared we were.  In some cases, how we needed to back off.  Amanda knew who she loved.  I just needed to be sure that person knew how to love and parent Parker.  I don’t have to tell you I had some pretty hard qualifications.  Amanda married Micah when Parker had just turned 8.  (I think) You can read the Micah post here.  I got this one wrong…and everyday I am thankful that I did.  Never in my wildest dreams did I think Parker would ever be such great friends with the man that married his Mom.Micah and Parker
What I have never talked about is Parker’s Dad.  Actually Parker gets really lucky here.  He has two.  He has never wanted for male role models in his life.  He has an Unc (Greg) that has loved him as much as his own from the day he was born.  He has two grandfathers that think he is “the best thing that ever happened to them”!  He also had the privilege of having his great grandfather in his life for his first eight years.  This boy is blessed.  And he should be spoiled and I guess he is, but most days I see nothing that would give that away. 
BUT he does have a Dad that he loves very much and that loves him very much. This next part will just be from my perspective.  (just a disclaimer since its my blog)  Have we always had a great relationship? NO
Have I always wanted Parker to have a relationship with his Dad? Yes 
Amanda had to grow up overnight.  Brad had a choice and for a some years he chose a different path.  A path I hated and I think he would tell you one he hated.  Never was he totally out of Parker’s life, but at times on a very limited basis.  I think there was a period of time I gave up hope. There was a period of time I did not really care.  It was easier that way. Did we have problems?  Absolutely! 
Brad moved away from our town for a few years and in that time I saw a huge change.  I am sure he would tell you I watched him closely, always afraid that it was just temporary.  It took a couple of years for me to really think it was a REAL CHANGE.  Now that it has been more than a couple of years it makes me so happy when I see how much he loves Parker and how Parker is so proud of him. I think in many ways Parker saved his life.  This is the bonus.  Brad and Micah have become friends and do things with Parker together.  They have been on a weekend camping trip, watched ballgames, shared meals…that means everything to Parker.  Amanda and Brad have a good relationship…So what was once a not so great situation, to put it mildly, has totally changed.  And in my book, that’s a good thing.  Meet Brad, Parker’s Dad. 
brad and parker
So be encouraged if you are in a situation that is not the best.
THINGS CHANGE!!

47 comments:

Anonymous said...

Teresa, you are one of my "hands down" favorite people on the planet. I want to hug your neck and I hate it that I never see you ~ you make me smile and cry. I love your heart and your gratitude. I love the fact that your first though to Amanda was that we need to decorate a nursery. That sums up so much of your heart and your outlook on this beautiful life that we have been granted from our Father!! You live an authentic life and I am thankful to know you! You and Jack make this world a beautiful place. What an amazing tribute to Parker and his Dad!

Tammy Ewert

Terra said...

Teresa, I expect wonderful posts from you, and you never disappoint. It is sweet to share this story of how growth and goodness are possible, and very strong, and I am sure you will touch and encourage many people with your words here. I see God at work in these changes.

Crystal Velvet said...

I really love to read your honest posts about your family. They are really blessed to have you as mum and Granny, MIL etc. I love your humaness and wiseness and faith. Thanks.

Nezzy said...

It just goes to show ya the miraculous way God works in our lives. I enjoyed this story of Parker's Dad so much sweetie.

God bless and have a super day!!! :o)

Terri said...

Wow, I am a newbie here... I am so glad I found you. What a beautiful post on a beautiful blog.

Sally said...

As I read your sweet words, I was thinking that everything happens in God's time. It's wonderful for Parker that his biological dad is now in his life, and how great is it that this little man has so many people who love him. Beautiful! :)

Life Happens said...

You have an amazing family. Parker is lucky to be part of such a loving and caring family. He has so many people who love him and are such good examples. He is destined to do great things!

Patty Sumner said...

Teresa, we had the exact same situation happen with our 18 year old daugher in college with the exception that we were the Pastor's family. Our Whitney..thank God chose to be a mother and had our little blessing Kamden. When Kameden was around 10 months old Whitney and the father were married. Kamden is 7 now and his Mom and Dad have graduated college, bought a home and have jobs and Kamden is a happy little boy. You are right, What Satan intends for Bad, God intends for Good. It is so amazing how God could take a little baby and change so many live (ours and yours) but that is exactly what GOd did in Jesus. A baby changed the world!!!! Blessings and thanks for sharing your heart.

debi said...

I love this post more than any other. This is the kind of story that will touch lives and change hearts! I believe you knew that, which is why I love ya......
God is so good!!!

Major Hugs :-)

Chris H said...

What a gorgeous post. Brad and Parker look so alike! How wonderful that Parker has his Dad in his life.
Our two grandchildren who we are raising have never met their birth fathers, which is very sad.

Tori said...

I am your newest follower via blog hop -
http://thriftytori.blogspot.com/2011/01/hops-and-such-for-week-of-jan-30-feb-5.html

What a lovely post!!
Tori

His Doorkeeper said...

Teresa, what a HUGE heart you have! And you are so right....don't get discouraged...things do change! Thankfully, it was for the better for Parker's father.
May he stay strong!

How is Jack doing? Hope he is getting stronger each day! Tell him his friend from Arkansas said "HI"!
Love to you both!

Bacardi Mama said...

Another lovely post. I'm so glad that everything turned out so well. Parker deserves that.

Ali Holt said...

I am your newest follower! Hope you will stop by and follow me too! There is also a giveaway going on, ends tomorrow night! Hope to see you stop by! thanks!

ali

www.ncbabyblog.blogspot.com

Kristens Creations said...

Hi Teresa! So sorry I'm just now writing you! I was going through my e-mails today and saw that I didn't get back to you about the wreath...oh my!! I thought about it and meant to tell you my ideas. Sometimes I think I'm a little crazy!! It's like I answer people back in my head, then realize I didn't actually write them back. So sorry for that! We will definitely have to get together with Cathy the next time we are both in Dallas. She is really a sweet person.

I just read your post on Parker's dad...I'm glad things got better for everyone. I can't get over how much they look alike! They are both very handsome. Chase looks just like Kevin too...people tell him all the time that he could never deny him! lol...He really doesn't look like me at all I don't think. Anyways...I hope you are planning a wonderful trip to see the mouse! You all deserve it! I don't know if we will go anywhere this summer. We are letting Chase go on a cruise with a good friend and his family over spring break. It took alot of thought...but they are a very protective family and I feel Chase will be safe with them. Talk to you soon, Kristen

Terry said...

What a very beautiful story!!
Thank you so much for posting it.

Thanks also for linking up to our blog hop. I am a new follower.
Terry

Shana said...

What a great post!! Thanks for sharing!

Crystal Jigsaw said...

This is a really great post. The love we have for our children goes beyond any we will ever know anywhere else. I don't have grandchildren, but I imagine it is the same. I know my mum adores her four grandchildren, including my daughter. You and I are very lucky indeed.

Have a great weekend. CJ

Sue said...

Hi Teresa,
What a beautiful post. Your love for your family, and your honesty shine through every word. I know that this will bless some other family. And, wow, do Parker and his dad ever look alike!!
Have a wonderful day.
Sue

Jane's In The Jungle said...

Man those are 2 look alikes!
It is a true blessing how things can go from so not good, to great! Thanks for sharing Teresa!

Carolee Sperry said...

lol- Parker & his dad do look alike!

Lucky Parker for having two Dad's! And two that get along....

I hope things change- our grandsons momma booked for Florida with him on Halloween and we haven't seen him since!

We miss him soooo much!

I have a couple of blogs:

Come on home

Working at home advice

Have a fantabulous weekend!

Carolee Sperry
The Blogging Biz Mom

Darlene said...

Hi. I just found your blog through the weekend blog hop. Your blog was very encouraging. We are in a similar yet different situation. I have a little almost 5-yr old granddaughter. My son is the daddy. They love each other very much, but live 500 miles from each other. They get to be together for a week, every three months. Sigh. Life doesn't go the direction I thought it would go.

But, on a happier note, I'm a new follower!

Sherri Lynn Herrmann said...

Greetings!

Blog hoppin', folling you and if you have a button, I will be grabbin' that as well...

~Peace~

Ps you have a beautiful family!

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

What a beautiful testimony to the power of God's redeeming grace. He can take anything from our past and use it for his glory. I see grace at every angle in this story, from the first moments of knowing your daughter was pregnant to camping trips with both dads!

Only God could weave such beauty into a story.

Thanks for sharing, and I'm with you. I think Parker a blessed young man to be surrounded by such love and mentoring. Who knows what the future holds for him?!

peace~elaine

Shawn Becker said...

What a beautiful post. When I told my mother I was pregnant the first thing out of her mouth was " what will the neighbors think, we must send you away and You Are Not Keeping That Baby!
I admit that was many years ago, I have blogged about that time, but she made me feel like a tramp and did for years.
That time in my life set me up for many failures including two of my marriages. I know that now.
Congratulations on being so supportive of your family.
Shawn

Edwina at The Picket Fence said...

Teresa,
That was one of the most touching and inspiring stories I have read in a long time. We too, had a part in raising my youngest daughter's little girl. There are not enough words to describe the feeling of seeing God take an innocent child and bring them into a world of love and care by a parent and grandparents.

Heather said...

Well your daughter is blessed to have a mother like you that just stood by her despite what happened, and now you have an amazing grandson out of it. The love of a family can hold things together. You could have kicked her out or held it against her forever like some mothers, but you did the right thing. Every life is a blessing.

I'm following from the weekend blog hop. I'd love for you to follow back when you get the chance. Have a great weekend!

Heather From and Mommy Only Has Two Hands! and Lynhea Designs

Lynne (lynnesgiftsfromtheheart) said...

This hit closer to home than you can imagine. I wish I was as brave as you are to put it in writing. You are so special.... hugs ~lynne~

Beth E. said...

What a wonderful testimony! True love conquers all. You are quite a woman, mother, and grandmother, Teresa. I admire your reaction to your daughter's news of her pregnancy, and I love how God took something that could have been a story of anger and resentment and turned it into a wonderful example of redemption, love, grace, and mercy. What a mighty God we serve!

Wsprsweetly Of Cottages said...

Dear Teresa, this is definitely something that many out there would love to read..definitely!!

Tanya said...

Teresa,
That is one happy story with a lot of hope. What comes from that first and foremost is that EVERYONE put Parker as the priority! And Hallelujah for that!
How kind of you to share such a personal family story. It can give hope to many people.
Blessings,
Tanya

Ashley said...

What a beautiful ending to a common situation that doesn't usually turn out this way. Put the kids first! Thanks for posting this! :)

Following from Surfin' Saturdays! I'd love for you to come by and visit my blog and follow me too :) I've got a few fun giveaways and LOTS more coming!

Thanks!!

Ashley
thereynoldsmom.blogspot.com

GrammyMouseTails said...

Teresa, wonderful post. I can always feel the love for your family in your words. and you always leave me feeling upbeat. your family is blessed to have you in their lives, as much as you feel blessed by them :) your attitude is contagious & the world needs more women like you! ~hugs, Faythe @GMT
( getting revved up for tomorrows big game, even tho our fav man will not be playing, I am sure he will be watching & enjoying)

Peggy said...

What a wonderful story! Thanks for sharing
PegsPlay
matternu@gmail.com

Sonja said...

What a treasure! God's redeeming grace is all over this story! Thank you so much for sharing. I know it will encourage so many. Parker is blessed!

SavannahGranny said...

Teresa, Such a beautiful post and tribute to family. I am so happy that things worked out for the best. The only thing that we can control is our personal walk. Sometimes not even that. It is truly a blessing when we are allowed to see God work in the lives of his children. May God richly bless you and your sweet family. Ginger

SavannahGranny said...

Teresa, I am your newest follower. Hugs, Ginger

Teresa Kline aka va.sunshine said...

thanks so much for sharing, God's hand is upon you and your family....many more blessings to you all....have a fabby week!

enjoy *~*

Helene said...

I loved this post! Your love and protectiveness for your family is so obvious. I'm glad that Parker's dad has now decided to be a part of his son's life. It sounds like he's done some growing up and is ready to be a father to his son. And I'm sure it was difficult for you to sit back and watch, while hoping that Parker didn't end up with a major disappointment.

So glad this story has a happy ending!

Allyson Pecilunas said...

Thank you for coming and visiting me I will definitely be following along I loved reading this such a great story!!

Melissa Miller said...

Teresa he is an incredible child. What a moving and heartfelt post.

Happy weeek to you sweet friend!
Warmly, ~Melissa :)

Liz@http://infusewithliz.blogspot.com/ said...

That's a great story and nice of you to share. You obviously have a generous heart and Parker has been blessed by all.

Happy To Be/ Gl♥ria said...

Wonderful post my Dear friend..I loved reading this..I too have a daughter that had my granddaughter at 17 and they lived with me for 4 years..Candace is my pride and joy..she is the grandaughter that just gave me a Great grandson Landen james in Sept...full circle..Candace's Dad never even senn her until she was 25 and she had to find him..he still have not seen his grandson landen yet and only lives 2 hours from her..some things you have to let go and let God..I just feel he missed seeing a wonderful caring loving daughter growup and now he missing out on his grandson..Hugs and smiles Gloria

Victoria said...

Thank you so much for stopping by my blog and for your sweet comment! What a beautiful post this is and what a darling grandson you have:) My son's have a friend whose dad and stepdad are very close, they took him dirtbike riding years ago when he was first learning. He was telling me about it and he said "One dad held the right side of my bike and my other dad held the left side"...so cute!

Ellie-A Little of This and a Little of That said...

Hiya,
I'm stopping by from the Relax and Surf Sunday Blog Hop and I'm your newest follower. Also following on Facebook. If you get a minute please stop by and follow back.
http://alittleoftheother.com

Have a super week,
Ellie

Pam said...

This is such a beautiful post. This is my first time visiting, so I didn't know any of the back story, but I can feel your love for Parker coming through the computer. He is lucky to have such a special Grandma.

lailani said...

What a wonderful story! Quite inspiring and so nice to see a scenario like this turn out so positive!