Friday, November 26, 2010

THANKFUL AND THANK YOU

I have been gone from blog land.  I have missed it.  Jack has been home for ten days.  Never has anyone been so glad to see their own bed.  After 6 weeks in the hospital, he NEEDED HOME.
I have little to say except how tired I was and who wants to hear a whiner.   We have been adjusting to a new normal which I think is only temporary, but still new for right now.  In all the past tree seasons, Jack has run all the errands, loaded and unloaded  tree stuff everyday, fixed any problems.  You name it, he did it.  I only did trees…18 hours a day.  So you can add all the other stuff on and you see that my days have been longer.  That’s just the physical side of it.  The mental and emotional is a totally different thing.  Jack has experienced some weeks of depression…Part of that comes from losing his Dad last month. Part of it comes from the stroke. 
He has always been the servant so having to be served has made him feel useless. There is the guilt that I am not home much, that Amanda is taking Jack to all his appointments, that Micah is doing everything and then some…and some things that I did not even know needed doing.  Stepping up to the plate has taken a whole new meaning.  I have missed Dana and Micah's birthday, I failed to send my annual Thanksgiving cards, I have not been able to  snuggle with the little's NEAR enough.  I have 100 plus emails to answer and probably at least that many thank you notes to write.  Amanda is doing most of my Christmas shopping, taking her Dad to every appointment, physical therapy, bringing him lunch everyday, and a million other things.  She and Micah have taken servant seriously.   One funny story…Micah and Amanda took Jack to the sleep clinic to do the test for sleep apnea this week.  He had to be there at 8PM and I was not home yet.  When they left him, Micah said, “Pop call me when you are ready to come home”!  He did…at 3 AM…he was finished and ready to leave, so off Micah goes across town and by 4 AM they are at IHOP.  Stars in your crown are certain. 
I did have one night this week that Jack and Parker spent the night and that few hours of hugs and kisses energized me more than any five hour energy or any sleep.I was so tired that I just held Jack and cried. ..(the hugs and kisses were from Jack) Parker would not want anyone to think he hugged and kissed on me all night. …but Jack happened to be in a loving mood (at almost 3 those times are becoming fewer).
Jack is improving daily and getting his strength back.  We are eight weeks out from his stroke and in some ways, the past eight weeks have been surreal.  For 19 years I feared another heart attack…but never knew anything about strokes.  Part of me is still angry…Jack  had seen his doctor on the Wed before the stroke, the swelling had been something I was concerned about for months, something we had seen this doctor about  since spring.  We liked our cardiologist and we trusted him.  I know now that like is not enough. Every person has to be their own advocate.  We now know  that we  were not getting good advice or good care and that's been confirmed by at least five doctors.    So bottom line, I feel like if I had been more persistent and more vigilant, this stroke could have been prevented. But that’s nothing I get a redo on. 
Yesterday was Jack’s first day of out patient rehab, so he is extremely tired today and I am just on the verge of getting sick again, so we are missing Terri’s (my head elf) extravagant Thanksgiving meal she so graciously invites us to.  Maybe she will post pictures…Martha Stewart has nothing on her.  Our kids eat at their in-laws on Thanksgiving, so we are eating potato soup from Sam's.  Now you can laugh..We like it. And Amanda is on her way with a plate…of TURKEY food. 
I had a long to do list today and not one thing got marked off.  Exhaustion has taken over and I have to get back to work tomorrow.  
I am so thankful for all the sweet notes and emails from my blog friends.  I promise to catch up on all your blogs. It will still be a few weeks, but I am looking forward to some days of JUST blog reading.
Friendship has been redefined to me.  For every card and flower you sent, every meal you have cooked(and there have been so many) every hug you gave, every phone call and visit you made, every mile you traveled to see Jack, for every prayer you prayed, to Charlie and Greg and Austin (you know what you did that was important to no one but me) I will be forever grateful.  In the past two months, there have been days that encouraging words from friends have been all that has kept me sane. . Many of those days were days I felt so NOT UP for this journey. To all my elves, thanks for hanging with me late into the night and sometimes into the early morning.  Nothing feels better than seeing the finished product, picking up my purse and walking out…another house down.
Some day I will get a personal note to each of you. I have always known how much Jack was  loved.  The past two months have shown me I had no idea.  He is so ready to be back to normal.  It makes me so sad to see the things he struggles to do, but I see the old coach in him and know it is just a matter of time before he masters it.  So this Thanksgiving evening, I am not only thankful, but I thank you. 
More pictures and a giveaway on my holiday blog tonight or tomorrow…There may not be many words but lots of pictures…If you have any questions about any trees, feel free to email me…annah99@aol.com.
Happy Thanksgiving,
Teresa
Tell someone about the Holiday Blog and I will add your name  five extra times to the drawing.  I know a lot of my regular readers have given up on me. I have had so few giveaways this year, since my main shipper is not available…but I am going to make up for it on the upcoming post..
and just to make you laugh
Jack looking
Not a great picture but the story behind the picture…When Amanda went into Jack’s room he had emptied all his drawers…His words…”Mom I was wooking for Woody”!

31 comments:

-stephanie- said...

I was just thinking about you lately, and here you are.
This was such a nice post. So much of your heart is in it. Thank you for taking time from your busy, exhausting days to catch us up. Please try and get some rest. Prayers for you and your family.

Love the picture! My girls did the same thing a few years ago. Ugh! :o)

♥Georgie♥ said...

Jack is precious in Gods eyes and yours...what a lovely post, so glad he is home and makin a mess of his drawers LOL!!! Happy Thanksgiving!

Lisa said...

Yall are in my prayers. I'm happy to hear how well Jack is doing. Good friends and family go a long long way.
Lol@ wooking for Woody!! He's so cute!

Grandma Cyndi said...

Teresa, everyone is so busy this time of year, and you make us look like we have nothing to do! Readers will come back, and I have sent 3 of my friends your link, I hope at least one will come stalking. Take care of yourself, your kids have stepped up to the plate, let them carry as much of the load as they can, you deserve it and they will feel so strong and proud of themselves. Thanksgiving Blessing to you all.

FlowerLady said...

So glad you have Jack back home with you. Healing takes time and patience. Just take each day as it comes doing your best and trusting in God for strength.

May you both feel His love surrounding you and uplifting you, and His healing flowing through you continually.

Love and hugs ~ FlowerLady

Bacardi Mama said...

It sounds like things are moving forward and that's a good direction. You are still in my prayers.

Betsy from Tennessee said...

It's so good to hear from you, Teresa. I have missed you too. I have a good friend in Louisiana whose hubby had a stroke several months ago... Needless to say, like yours, their entire lives changed...

I am glad that Jack is home --but let me butt into your life and tell you that YOU cannot do everything you used to do... Scale down your life... Don't go to such extremes on Christmas and other things.. You are just one person. Having your sweetie at home is the best Christmas present you could ask for... And --as far as blogging, we all understand. Write when you can --but put things into priority... Blogging cannot be at the top of the list.

We love you, Teresa... Take care of YOU.
Hugs,
Betsy

ShirleyC said...

Believe me, no one is going to think less of you for not having time to blog or answer emails. You have done the best you can to update about Jack.
I pray for you daily so you can keep up your strength and stay well. I know we are always stronger than what we think we are when things like this happen.
Hugs.
Little Jack is so cute. I love their little imaginations.

Delores-Onny said...

You and your family have been on my mind and in my prayers. I am amazed at the energy you seen to receive from our father. Thank you for all the love that went into decorating my home. Blessings to you and your family.

Lynn said...

I loved the picture of Jack's room:-) I hope you are able to take care of yourself and get some rest in the midst of all that you are doing. Sometimes life just throws a curve at us but God is not surprised by it and He knows just what you need. Praying for you.

Andrea said...

Teresa,

I am praying GODS healing touch on you, your wonderful husband, and the entire family. May HE who loves you most feel you with HIS peace, love, and comfort. May HE pick you up and raise you out of despair and help you to enjoy the blessings all around you as you make your way through the days ahead. It is a new journey, but it is HIS journey through each of you. May you be bright shining stars for HIM in this season as all those around you see what is most important in your lives!

Big hugs, lots of love, and prayers,
andrea

twinkle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rachel said...

Love the picture of Jack's room. It's so sweet the little things kids say.

I've just discovered your blog, and I've been blessed to read your words.

I'll be praying.

Rachel

SusanD said...

Ha! Woody and Buzz. My two favorite guys. lol. So glad to get an update from you and learn all is progressing in your new normal life. Continuing to pray here....for you there. Blessings, SusanD

Theresa said...

Oh my dear friend! I can just hear how tired you are! It is amazing how much you have gotten done with everything you have had going on! I will continue to pray for all of you! One of these days, you will get to rest and all will be normal again:) HUGS!

Nezzy said...

Know I have been thinkin' of you and prayin' for both you and Jack. Yesterday I was just thinking of you and hoping the product I suggested was still workin' for ya 'cause I know your plate heapeth over.

How wonderful to have Jack home but I know how much ya miss his help. You have got to be totally tired to the bone. I can't even wrap my brain around how you found time to post sweetie.

Please try to take care of yourself. I take a product from the health-food store called Advantage. I only take it when I know I've been exposed to a virus or start symptoms. The first time I tried it I caught a nasty virus from Hubby( they're good for such things..like sharin') I woke up achy with a sore throat. I talked to the salesgirl and took the drops right there on the spot. Within three days it was like I hadn't been exposed. It took Hubby weeks to get over it and even developed pneumonia with the stuff. Advantage...15 drops 3X a day until symptoms are gone. If exposed I take it for a couple days for protection. It works best if you only take it when you need it. Sorry this is so long but I sure don't want to see ya get another virus.

God bless sweetie and my prayers are with ya'll!!!

twinkle said...

Oh, Father! Each one of us here loves this woman! Her JOY has been the draw. Now we feel the JOY is still there but life is hard. Come, Lord. Give her MORE GRACE. Don't let her miss YOUR GRACE during this season. Father, You always have room for us in Your Inn. You prepare a table for us to eat at and to sup with You. I pray that Teresa would spend time just supping with You, Lord. Let her feel Your filling her with Your strength. Just like she felt it with Jack and Parker in the hugs and kisses and love without words. Plug her into Your Power as she works the impossible into her schedule. Thank YOU for those who come alongside her to meet needs and to share love and grace and mercy. I pray for You to be mighty in Jack's care. Give knowledge and wisdom to Jack's doctor. Give abilities to Jack that have been stolen from him. Give Teresa the ability to move forward without guilt as she deals with the day-to-day changes in her life. She can do it! Would You let her see geese flying in V-formation everywhere she goes! Let her know that is You showing up in her life and giving her Victory! How you love her, God. She is a tree, bending beneath the weight of Your Wind and Mercy. Blow Your Spirit Wind on her. Let Your Mercy fall gently over her. You Will have Victory in this Story of Yours You are writing in the story of Jack, Teresa and Jesus Christ.
Beholding You this Christmas,
twinkle

Teresa, I corrected this to get your name right, but God already knew it was you I was praying for. I think I got Teresa and Grammy mixed up together. Love you, twink

Linda said...

Sounds like you have wonderful kids who love their daddy and you very much!!! I am so glad they are there for you.

Jack is a fighter...and even though he may have bouts of frustration or depression...I think he will get through this with God's help and the answers to everyone's prayers!

You have been through so much...no wonder you are sick again. Stress does that to me too. So, I hope you will find so time to rest. You are important to your kids and grandkids and to Jack...so take care my friend.

Linda

His Doorkeeper said...

Teresa, I have thought about you and Jack and wondered how he was doing. Goodness, you certainly have your hands full right now but the most important thing is for jack to recover! And you need to make sure you get REST!! If anything a caregiver needs most is sleep. i hope you will not worry about everything else this holiday. It can keep!

Praying for you both!

Romans 15:4 " For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have HOPE."

debi said...

My heart goes out to you and your family. As hard as it is relying on others to help you and your husband...its part of God's plan. The time your son and daughter have with their Dad are going to be moments they will never forget as well as allowing them the opportunity we all desire....to do something for our parents who have always done for us.

The day will come that all will see the importance of how this has all played out :-)

I pray that God gives you the strength to carry on, one step at a time. I will continue to Pray for Jack's recovery and that you all will find a way to call it all joy !

Hugs ....

Kat said...

Sweet friend I think of you every single day and I promise I have been praying for you every single time I pray.

I'm so glad your kids and littles are showing you and Jack LOVE.

Much love and big hugs,
Kat

Nina Diane said...

I know you are just so happy to have Jack home...no matter what, he is home. thoughts and hugs and prayers...

Doris said...

I continue to pray. This is not an easy journey you are on....not that I need to tell you! You are living it! Although your journey is different than mine was, there are emotions and words you have expressed that are the same.

Do take time to rest, don't feel guilty....I heard those words too during my daughters recovery. And I rolled my eyes as I bet you are doing right now =))

Blessings!

Kirsten said...

Blessings to you and your family this holiday season. I'm so glad Jack is home!

Lynne (lynnesgiftsfromtheheart) said...

Dear sweet friend, you truly have been missed. I know Jack is so grateful for you and all your care through out this difficult time. If he's anything like my Mr. P you are his main support his security. You're in my thoughts and prayers, wish I were closer to help lend a hand now and again. many many hugs sent your way... ~lynne~

billypandnikkysmom said...

Oh I am so happy that you have your precious husband at home with you! I pray that he comtinues to grow stronger every day!

That sweet little of your is just too vute :)

I hope that you had a nice Thanksgiving, hugs to you & many many prayers!

Joyce said...

I have been following your blog and even went way back on past posts...I can relate to so much. When my hubby had a heart attack and then 2 more in the hospital he was there a month. It was so hard... and harder when he got home. I am glad you have so much love and support. Makes a difference. Praying for you all!

Debbie said...

Many prayers and well wishes to you and your family. I bet you would love to come and help me decorate, it sure would be good therapy for you. Take it easy, we will be here.

mdavis said...

I have not given up on you. I found you eight weeks ago, and started praying immediately for you. I have told others about you, your situation, and your blog. My women's Bible studies even prayed for jack.

Diana said...

We will continue to remember you in our thoughts and prayers.

Terra said...

Teresa, you are a sweetheart and it is heart warming to read about how your family is pitching in, like picking up Jack and going to IHOP at 3 am. Take care of yourself too, my friend.