Sunday, August 22, 2010

A SUNDAY THE TEARS ARE ABOUT TO SPILL

This is not the funny post I promised, but I do have the pictures now and will post it tomorrow. This has been one of those days, a Sunday where my eyes have had water in them most of the day.  The kind of eyes where you know they are about to spill tears but you are afraid if they do you might never stop crying.  Happy tears and sad tears.  I don't cry a lot, at least not in public...I rarely cry in movies..I have a friend that cries when they start showing the trailers.(she will know who she is) I just don't cry.  Number one it gives me a terrible headache, number two I always fear I will not be able to stop.  But today is not one of those days.  This could be a book if I wrote everything that moved me today so I will try and describe three.  As praise and worship began the pastor came to the platform and he is broken as his Mom is near death, but he talked about how we all wear masks and when asked how we are we reply GREAT!  I have been guilty of that more times than I can count..He talked about how LIFE is just TOUGH.  I got that... he then invited anyone that needed to take off the mask and come to the altar to come...I looked up to see Will's family making their way down the stairs and to the altar, where so many people gathered around them and prayed.  Parents came with their kids.....and then the praise team began to sing the Casting Crowns song I WILL PRAISE YOU IN THIS STORM and I saw Wills Mom and Dad stand up with their hands raised to heaven singing from their pain.   Then the pastor said in years past this is how we would have said it and he began to sing HOW GREAT THOU ART... and my thoughts were how in the world can they be worshipping and singing How Great Thou Art, when they buried their boy on Wednesday. Their three precious boys standing with them and their world upside down and yet they worshipped...Tears about to spill. I had a chance to talk to and hug Tyree after the service. There are not enough hugs for a Mom that has lost a son. I wish you could see her. She is beautiful to begin with but she has a glow, a grace, a presence that could only be there because she knows with all her heart that she will see Will again.


Then I ran into a friend that I have not seen in awhile. A friend that is so wounded. It's too personal a story to share, but it's a hurt that makes you not want to get up in the morning. Actually a hurt that I have been through years ago and I can tell her she will survive, but that does not lessen the pain now. Tears in both our eyes and mine about to spill.

And then there are those good tears. I looked to my left and Amanda was sitting next to me. Next to her was Micah and Parker...with Micah hugging on Parker the entire service.
(have I told you that he is the worlds greatest hugger?)I would give you a visual, but Amanda frowns on me taking my camera out in church.  Four years ago I was just sure that he could NEVER be a good step dad to the little boy that I loved more than life. I begged and pleaded with Amanda...Micah's not the one...Please do not marry him. AND guess what, THIS MOM was SO WRONG. I can tell you today that there is no one that loves Parker more than Micah. And that was from day one...and the bond has just gotten stronger and stronger, so much so that I forget he is not his Dad. He is constantly planning for his college, for his future, for his first car, and loving on him all the time. He is always thinking of new ways to make Parker's life good. He provides for him far and above anything I ever dreamed. No one loves him more than Micah...and when I glanced at them in church today all hugged up, tears were about to spill.
Micah, I love you for loving my girl, for giving us Jack and more than you will ever know for loving Parker Powell. And in case you did not know, he really loves YOU!


And I will probably shed a tear when BF takes the field tonight since I already have eyes full of water...Headed to Amanda and Micah's to watch the game and have some family time.  I promise to give you a LAUGH tomorrow.

26 comments:

Donetta said...

Jesus wept

marty (A Stroll Thru Life) said...

Such a precious and heart felt post. There are days and times when the tears are just there no matter what we try to do. Our God is a good God, but He does allow us to go through pain. Someday we will know why or else it won't matter. God Bless. Hugs, Marty

Merana Leigh said...

The idea of lifting my hands & praising publicly in worship service 4 days after burying my child is a FOREIGN idea to me. I admire their hearts for the Lord beyond words, through MY tears.

And...for the record, I cry too when I think of BF. ;o} Share a box of tissues? LOL! Hugs ~ Merana

Lisa said...

Oh you gave me chills. Big hugs to all.

Tammy said...

I have goose bumps after reading that story! You are a love girl! Love oozes from you and I love that about you...you are so real, and I love that too!

I continue praying for Will's family.

xoxo

West Side of Straight said...

A tearfelt post. Yes, we love BF here too, and will be watching tonight! So glad he's back-knew he'd be here. Hope it's going to be a good year!
Jo in MN

billypandnikkysmom said...

Thinking of you & praying for Wills family, may th eLord guide them and bring them comfort in the days ahead...

Alleluiabelle said...

I love you Teresa! You are so beautiful and your heart...oh your heart for God, for life, for your family, for your grandchildren, for others...OH OH OH SO BEAUTIFUL! I am sure you are a beautiful friend to so many. I feel it a privilege that God has put you across my pathway. Yes, what an AWESOME God we have dear friend.

Again, love you so much and my eyes are filled with tears now and as I read through this...yes, my eyes are with water about to spill too!

{{{Big Hugs}}}
Alleluiabelle

Saleslady371 said...

What a beautiful post today. I admire your tender heart.

jojo said...

what an inspirational post...thank you on this Sunday.

Just Breathe said...

((HUGS))

Debby said...

((((HUGS)))) for you

Theresa said...

My heart and eyes are filled just like yours! It is OK to feel all of this! God be with all of you... Will's family, your friend and your family! God is good and as the first comment said "Jesus Wept"!

Enjoy your evening at your Daughter's house! HUGS!

Beth E. said...

What a touching post. Tears are just as important as laughter.

Big hugs...

Linda said...

"Mama said there would be days like this!" And sure enough we all have our moments of overwhelming sadness and joy too. Praise God He is with us in both.

Love you,
Linda @ Truthful Tidbits

Heart2Heart said...

Teresa,

Knowing that you have such a love following you whenever you post and that you are in our prayers. I know how difficult it can be to witness moments like these but I truly feel your spirit within you was moved and you reacted the way you do best. You wept!

Here is hoping that tomorrow will be full of sunshine and warmth. No more tears!

Love and Hugs ~ Kat

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

So many tears but not from those that don't know who God is in their lives. What a beautiful testimony of the family to shed their masks and to feel outloud, their grief. So many people grieve silently and then use other means to scream it out (such as alcohol or drugs).

What's even more beautiful is Micah's love for Parker as his very own. I know that God orchestrated ever inch of the love for your daughter and now, your grandbabies.

Thank you for sharing all of this.

The Stylish House said...

Teresa,
Thank you for sharing such inspirational wisdom. It’s the still of the night and the time when thoughts catch up with me so reading this was a reminder we are all part of this journey of life. Each of us faces our trials and tribulations, but approaching the road we travel from a sense of appreciation and being grateful for the blessings we have been given makes the trip one filled with more joys then sorrows.
Hugs, Cathy

Shelia said...

Oh, Teresa! I'm crying tears with you! What an awesome experience! I can't imagine how folks can manage to go on who don't have Jesus as their Savior! He gives us hope and a future!
I love the story about your daughter and how God gave her just the perfect mate to love her and your precious grands!
Teresa, you've blessed my heart this morning.
Be a sweetie,
Shelia ;)

Love Being a Nonny said...

What a precious post...What a testimony from Will's precious family. Thank you for sharing.

snoodlings.com said...

I love your tender heart, Teresa.

Amber Dawn said...

That post made me cry as well...happy and sad tears. Hugs to you and thank you for sharing this!

aguhmom said...

Sweet friend, yes, hopefully my
101 new blog password will work this time :)
I loved your thoughts - your preacher's thoughts. Our masks protect us because for the most part we live in an unsafe world,
more emotionally than even physical. My opinion. Who wants to put themselves out there just to be massacred with so many sharp words?
But,,,, in our Abba's presence - that is the safest place to live in . Tears lubicate our protected heart. and i think ; opens the door wider for the Spirit to come in & feel more at home.
God made us so wonderoulsy - we do have tears for all emotion -
mostly they are a bridge linkin our hearts with mankind - and our God.
Love you so, p

fahnmamma said...

Oh the tears have spilled from my eyes as I read this post. God is good, even in horrible situations. After my daughters accident, I closed my heart to God's goodness for too many years. It warms my heart when I hear of those who weather their storm with grace....it is only because of His faithfulness and the prayers of His people that it is possible. Thank God I found healing before the next biggie...my oldest sisters sudden death.

I'm sure you had a wonderful time with your family last evening. We did too....but the team this bunch roots for wasn't playing. We had a crazy time with the Wii.

Blessings,
Doris

Becca's Dirt said...

I had to stop and wipe away the tears before I could continue to read. I don't really know what to say. I am so sorry about Will. It just isn't right. I know the parents are grievig so. I feel your pain as you wrote this today. The parents are amazing examples of the our Father holding them up. Bless them.

Melissa Miller said...

Thank you for this heartfelt post Teresa.

Have a blessed week.
~Melissa