Some Details Do Not Fade With Time

It was 10 years ago today that I was in a deep sleep, actually ready to go the next day for some rather major, but elective surgery, and the phone rang. One of those calls that you hope is the wrong number but fear is bad news. My youngest sister said these words, "Susan just called and said Clint is dead in his bed"! I can remember saying "Would you repeat that"? Susan is my younger sister and Clint was her youngest son, at the time 18. They live in a city about 80 miles from where I live. I can remember this conversation as if it were last night. After calling and getting some details and yet really not knowing what had happened, I quickly called my doctors nurse at home and told her I was going to have to postpone the surgery, we packed our things and headed to their home. I still did not understand the part of Clint being dead in his bed...My sister lives in a beautiful, perfectly landscaped, very large house on a great corner lot. My brother-in-law owns a concrete business so every inch of the landscape is perfect....Clint and his brother both worked for their Dad in the summers and Wesley had gone in early to wake Clint for work and found him in his bed dead, probably had been for some time. Just typing that brings back so many memories. I talked with my sister today but did not ask permission to go into detail, and really the details do not matter....it was just a split second decision that a young kid made that cost him his life. Life would never be the same in that house. My sister would spend the next many years just hoping she would die. She had absolutely no will to live and told me many times that she just wanted to die. Life was just unbearable without her boy. Life can change in a minute, with one decision, with no warning. I wish my scanner was working tonight and I would share a picture of this wonderful boy. He was a gentle soul...kind and loving and left this world far too early. When I sat down to type tonight I really had no plans to share this, so now that I have, I am hoping that maybe one parent will speak an important word to ONE TEEN, ONE MORE TIME, that EVERY decision matters. Tonight I am thinking of my nephew Clint. I miss his smile and wish I could see it one more time. That is only one chapter in what could be a book that I think might save another kid. Maybe some day my sister will let me share it.

I can remember all the times I tried to drill into my kids during their teenage and college years that every decision mattered. If they read this they will say several million times and counting...and who knows what one time made a difference. Maybe none did. Maybe it was just God's grace. That's one of "those things" I don't understand. I know parents that have done absolutley everything right and then there is a car accident and their child is gone. So this has nothing to do with good versus bad parenting. It is a HARD JOB PERIOD. I know in the world as we know it today, there could never be TOO MANY times of warning them. I was a NAGGER...sometimes to a fault. I will admit it...(before one of my kids tries to leave a comment)...but as I watch both my kids parent today I just smile. They do a better job than I did but they do a lot that I did. God gave me just a little glimpse of what a great job my daughter does at parenting today. She discplines so well and with so much love. I don't think anything makes me happier as a parent, than to see my kids do it well. I have 4 LITTLES, all boys, and there are 2 guys and 2 gals that take parenting them, their number one assignment in life. I consider my number one duty in life to spoil them. I see my life in WANTS...I wanted to marry a football coach for as far back as my memory goes...I DID (I know some of you are waiting on that story...maybe one day! Ha) Then all I wanted was to be a Mom...I WAS...and it seems like from the early days of being a Mom, I wanted to be a Grammy. I AM...I thought I loved my kids more than the average Mom...now I am not so sure...but I can tell you from the moment I laid eyes on the littles I have
NEVER BEEN THE SAME. In case you cannot tell from my posts, it is the ULTIMATE CALLING and actually it is the thing I think I do best. Notice I did not say I always wanted to decorate Christmas trees. I have no idea how that snuck in. I was a fairly young grandmother with Parker, but that was eleven years ago. Now I am a very age appropriate Grammy with aches and pains..but there is still nothing I love more than having all four boys here. I love traveling with them. I LOVE seeing the world through their eyes. I have friends that tell me they hope in their next life they come back as my grandchild. I am going to give you a visual of my grand parenting.. This afternoon I picked Jack up from school...This is the 2 year old that makes me laugh until I cry..He was sitting in my lap and he saw some flower stickers laying by some cards I was writing. I love stickers, he loves stickers...I let him cover my face, both eyes, nose, ears, and hair in stickers, with him laughing hysterically the entire time. I almost had Parker make a picture to show my blog friends but I decided I might lose some readers. Just sayin....they can pretty much do anything their little hearts desire here. So now you get why they are here so MUCH. Grammy and Pop, within reason, almost always say YES! (Now if you would hear Amanda and Greg tell this story, they would say (I have heard this so many times) Mom lets the grandkids do things we could NEVER DO! And I do! I wish I could show you pictures of the flowers in my yard (there are none), or a great dish I just made (I made nothing, we get take-out or eat out)! I could show you my home, but for some reason I have never been interested in that. Because I have been able to go to market for 20 years, I have lots of STUFF, but that's all it is. I love a pretty house and pretty things, but there are plenty of blogs that specialize in that. For years I decorated my clients homes after the holidays, but I saw so many houses that were just full of stuff and not full of home, that I really lost my love of doing that. So really all I have to share is my littles...
So I guess the first part of this post is to the young Moms out there...keep nagging and the last part is to all my blogging friends that have found a passion and new kind of love in grand parenting.